Let me be what I want to be...

And so she cried..it was almost a plea and strangely I felt as if directed towards me. I couldnt understand why both of them looked at me, waiting for me to react, to agree rather. The subject of discussion had been 'Death Metal'. They were the ones who had tonnes to talk about it and I was just a mute observer nodding my head here and there whenever I thought I had heard the names of the bands that they kept mentioning. They even suggested what bands I should start listening to. We continued talkin about it for some more time.I sitting between the two of them like an audience watching a tennis tournament obediently following the itinerary of the ball that dived from his court to hers.

A was introduced to me by V in his own very peculiar style. V himself is very grouchy about the people he wants to be with. If you ask me its actually the people who dont want to be with him. Why??...Why not?? I mean look at him. He looks like a rowdy out of some scruffy magazine. His unkempt hair that would remind you of road-side lukkhas,his pants barely managing to cling on to his tenuous arse, an arrant perpetual expression of a chronic drinker,so dishevelled,his attire rumpled and absolutely frowzled that it just makes a travesty of Slash(one of the guitarist of G n R..and his favourite too!!!). One look at him and you would be barfing!
If V ever had a sibling in my college she would have to resemble A. A who always carries a screwed expression on her face as if the sun is 24 hrs right in front of her. She being totally enamoured by the not-so-understandable charm of Mr. V,they look so much like made for each other,like two cartoon characters jamming together singing songs that have never made sense to me. Even the reason for their being friends had been their similar choice of songs because according to A the people who hear metal have some metal in them too. This is particularly becoming a problem for her as none but only one person,undoubtedly Mr. V (her bro!) has an ear for metal. Their instant friendship dint come to me as a surprise. It was inevitable...their freemasonry.

The discussion had drifted gradually to another topic,now this one being a favourite of V: Countries,their cultures,the amount of freedom(to fuck as many bases as u can!!!)and the conflict between indian and french mentality.Yeah he has been learning French from a reputed school of language for the past two years. He is good no doubt but it seems the french people have taught him more than just their language. His aim is to settle down in some french country not for some career but to have fun. Ask him how does he plan to do that and he has no answer.So is the case with A. She looks like this gorilla on a lose with too small a brain in too big a head that can only understand and respond to sounds of words like 'Death metal' and 'Grunge metal'.
They started off with things like what would happen after the college,obviously they wont miss it.I think thats where I interrupted them after wat seemed like an endless pause just to say that the people will be a little hard to forget. Their reaction to this statement was lurid. They both pounced on me as if I had pronounced a death sentence because according to them people of this place were not worth remembering.It was fine till here as listening to this from these two was pretty much digestable. It only became improbable once they talked about this from a philosophical point of view.
Let me put it in a more organised manner...

V's philosophy:
We came to this world not to make friends but to have fun.What is fun? Its not committment but an act of dealing with other human being as long as you are comfortable with them and after that.....you part!! Who wants responsibilities,who wants to take care of the people,who wants to look after the parents...not me,not me,not me! He screamed,his face smitten by disgust as if he had lived all his life shouldering neck-breaking responsibilities. Why do u need to carry relations from one place to another,why not forget people when you say good-bye to the place,move forward, make new friends,get laid, leave the place and forget those people too... and the cycle would go on and on. The bottom line is- Live life with no responsibilities with people who give you pleasure as long as they can.

A's (dependent)philosophy:
She would never not agree with her bosom crony.They are like the seamese twins joined at the head or maybe at the bottom...the seam stitched in a way that it would read words like flee,hide,metal,rock...
She dived deep into this pit from where she dug out all the knowledge that she could have achieved only after listening to death metal. She had attained nirvana and was now trying to enlighten me with her limited knowledge as well.Her philosophy is very simple. If you are a death metal fan you have got your brains in the right place. Such people have something in them,thats how she would justify her taste of music.Something..what?? well she wont have an answer to that obviously. Her plea to listen to everything that she had to say about people and the world was not sickening or boring but simply amusing and strange.


It hit me then..about the way we all are and have been since donkeys years. Little knowledge and hell lot of an attitude to cover up the flaws. We all have conveniently achieved what we can call our kinda Nirvana-where ignorance is bliss and the head is still held high..........Phew!!!

Reverie...

I sit at the door,Waiting
Staring out at the horizon
The sun is sinking down
It is time to go home.
My eyes fixed on the road
And I see him from a distance
My heart skips a beat
A 1000 emotions rush in.
He appears closer now
With each step he takes towards me
My heart races all the more.
I get up and walk to the entrance..
To welcome The Man,
To welcome him- My Man!
I see his face clearly now
And I feel him looking at me.
As he stands in front of me
His eyes penetrating mine,
His head held high,
And smilingly he says Lets go.
And I set out with him to explore the unknown,
To unravel the mysteries that await Us;
Its me and Him and Our beliefs
Our promise to enjoy, TOGETHER..
Laugh and play and play and laugh
And go on like that Forever
Forever-till the time it lasts.
A tear rolls down my cheek
Its just another gloomy reverie
My eyes still fixed on the road
But the sun has sunk
Its just left tranquility behind
And ME sitting at the door,
Still waiting....