Lost....

I am so agitated now. As if my whole world has crumbled to pieces. I feel so lost. I dread the weekends because they make me realize how far I am from the ones I love and want to be with. It is these times when my mind is shouting questions. Why?? What was the need? We all were so happy together then why did we have to part ways? You say go with the flow and go where life takes you. But wasn't this what we chose? We could have chosen something else. We could have chosen to be together. It is so easy to think positive when your surrounded by all the loved ones. It sucks when you have to face everything alone. After being a part of the daily routine here I realize the more I understand the more there is to understand. It is such a complicated matter. I can't share it with anyone because I don't know anyone here. I try talking about it with my two favourite people but they have their own life too. I don't want to look like I am cribbing all the time. I am torn between behaving good and speaking my heart out. The constant conflict between keeping my self-respect intact, keeping mum because that is what all good, mature people do and feeling frustrated with every second thats passing by, I am lost totally and looking for the right direction...

Dadda, this is for you...

In all the chaos you comforted me. Between the thousand 'No's' and only despair you came along and gave me hope. When the close ones were losing faith in me, you patted my shoulder and said ' I'm there.'. When my head was sinking, thoughts were going to dogs you filled me up with optimism and told me to keep moving.

You have loved me regardless of my rudeness, irrational decisions and the big ego. I was not wrong in saying that ' Its not that your my dad so loving you becomes a duty'. Your a man of such stature that its impossible not to feel so gratified. For so many things I can be thankful to God, this one is the biggest because I know and have believed that I with each passing day that I am the luckiest daughter in this whole wide world!!!

Reasons for procrastination...

Every time I sit down to write, my mind is devoid of all the thoughts that it once possessed. The rest of the time it is craving to get online to write about almost everything, even a few lines on how many times I go to the loo!
Writing....Is it an art?? It surely is not like singing where the good voice is given to you as a birthday gift from God. Reading a novel is not inspiring enough. When I read other people's work it makes me want to start writing something of my own. But then the story is the same again. I sit in front of the computer screen hoping to write something, to begin writing atleast and end up clicking the "OK" button when asked "Are you sure you wanna navigate to other page." Its useless to even start a new blog (this is my third blog,by the way. Every time I go through my blog I congratulate myself in being so consistent in writing.So far 25 blogs!!! Not bad at all for my standards. But I guess I have discovered the secret behind being consistent. Patience and observation. Its not that nothing happens ever, life is always dull. Infact if I start writing, I would have atleast one incident to tell each day. But its not all the incidents I would like to write about and why the hell would you be interested in reading about all of it???Thank me for sparing u!!
Its those few things that leave a lasting effect on the mind. It happens zillions of times that somethings are so much worth writing about but wen I start writing, all the bloody thoughts vaporise and obliviate!!! Phew!! Ask me how frustrating that is! But thats when I write a few lines...very pathetic lines and save them hoping to continue with it sometime later. It has surprised me how this practice has made me complete all my blogs one after another. Its not a days work, not for me atleast. Sometimes it takes me weeks just to complete a sentence or a paragraph...sounds crazy, doesn't it. But this is the only place that keeps my creativity alive and I wish to maintain the standards. Thats why my blogs take so much time to publish!!!

Changes

From being surrounded by friends every day to walking down the station road at the wokingham road in the freezing cold alone in the night...yeah...things have changed alot. Its quite different being on your own. I am not going to be judgemental about it..there are no wrongs or right here. It just gives you a deeper understanding and a different perceptive. Its amazing to see how your intellect progresses when it is exposed so many different things all at once. So much of it can be because of the wonderful Gene. Pride! Thats what I feel for everything that I have had and for everything that makes me the way I am.

I am still a traveller, still on the path following the horizon and waiting to reach home. What more...I have started loving winters!!

Way back into love

Thoughts pouring from all the chambers of my head and somehow I fail to put them into sentences. And so I resort to these lyrics:-

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind
All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere
I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end...

The trouble with love is...

Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses, diamond rings
Dreams for sale and fairy tales
It'll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind,
It'll fool ya every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn't care how fast you fall
And you can't refuse the call
See, you got no say at all

Now I was once a fool, it's true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world's a deeper blue
I'm sadder, but I'm wiser too
I swore I'd never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn't worth the pain
But then I hear it call your name

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

Humsafar

Hum jo chalein to tum bhi chalo saath.
Fir kya khabar ke din hai ke raat.
Bas mein nahi rahenge jazbaat,
tum jo sanam hamare chalo saath.
Hum jo chalein...

Sur se saji geeton si teri yaad.
Tujh bin sanam bhaaye na koi baat.
Kaise kaho,akele chalun aaj?
Aao sanam sune hain dil ke saaz.
Kaisi bhi raahen ho kaisi dagar ho.
Koi bhi rasta ho koi safar ho.
Chalte rahein hum jo tu humsafar ho...

Dil yeh kahe baitho hamare paas.
Aao idhar ishara kare raat.
Humko magar chahiye wahi shaam,
jis par sanam likha ho tera naam.
Chandni raaten ya khilti saher ho.
Chahe din ka woh koi peher ho
Chalte rahein hum jo tu,
humsafar ho...

Hum jo chalein, tum bhi chalo saath.
Fir kya khabar yeh din hai ke raat.
Bas mein nahi rahenge jazbaat,
tum jo sanam hamare chalo saath.
Galiyon mein firta hai banjara dil yeh.
Tujhko hi dhundhega awara dil yeh.
Karta hai jaane ishaare kya dil yeh?

Hum jo chalein to tum bhi chalo saath...

Rains...Romantic!

There are times when I think that my heart may never be able to hold all the love, the joy, the hope and the gratitude I feel for you.
But always there's another little place inside with just enough room and once again I can hold all of you, take you into the very center of my life, here where you belong in the everywhere of my heart, beloved one.
If I could simply give all I feel instead of these few words you'd know how truly and how deeply I love You...

An expectant Nidhi on a rainy day...

Neither a morbid affection,
nor a slave's desire,
Neither a physical attraction,
nor an igniting fire.
A feeling without expression,
a distance without sadness.
An act without reaction,
a fulfilled wish without happiness.
Emerges from the denizens of the deep,
stretches beyond the petty fervour.
Love, as I perceive it,
that goes beyond the realms of anticipation,
Love, as I want it,
that is free from the shackles of time.
Love, if fills my world,
then how I wonder,
expectations found themselves, in me, a habitat!!!

Rains...Infectious!

They are magic! They cast a spell on me always. There never has been a time when the raindrops have failed to revive my mood. This time though I thought they would have an all together different meaning for me. Thank God!!! They don't!!! I am all well, doing good!!! My Sunday's never been better. I am happy. It should never stop drizzling. It should go on raining. Continue till I start shivering. Till I turn cold and my mind is numb. I don't want to think. Stop the process of analyzing the ifs and buts of a situation. I don't want to do that anymore. I just want to take life as it comes. I really wish I had a remote to control my mind that had a stop button. I want to be free. Free from the shackles of expectations. Learning to letting go is a long process and am into it. Everything happens gradually. All I can do is wait for the best to happen. But till then rain is my all time pal. Holding me when I am sad, cuddling me when I need to be pampered and covering up, making tears and water inseparable.
Rain- I am glad you have come.

Aah-Life!!

Few times in life you feel as if you couldnt have been better! This is one such time! Results out..nothing that good..just wat I deserved! But the number of congratulations I received from all the people I have met and not. Its a heavenly feeling!! A huge thanks to all of them and to The One who binds me with them...

My all...

I am thinking of you
In my sleepless solitude tonight
If it’s wrong to love you
Then my heart just won’t let me be right
Cause I’ve drowned in you
And I won’t pull through
Without you by my side
I’d give my all to have
Just one more night with you
I’d risk my life to feel
Your body next to mine
Cause I can’t go on
Living in the memory of our song
I’d give my all for your love tonight
Baby can you feel me
Imagining I’m looking in your eyes
I can see you clearly
Vividly emblazoned in my mind
And yet you’re so far
Like a distant star
I’m wishing on tonight...

Needy me Part II

=> An empty road, trees grown on the sides. A dark cloudy evening that signals arrival of the monsoon. The smell of rain in the air. The wet soil. The bored plants that wait to be grazed over by the herd. The delay,the wait. The clouds still indicate the arrival as they start getting darker, more intense with a thunderbolt accompanying them now. It has been long and quite some wait now. With every flash in the sky the hopes get higher and the expectant faces keep shooting glances at the sky. "It should rain, it should rain now.", the heart prays. And then a little droplet falls somewhere on face, so little that it even fails to wet the fingertips. As the tips still grope for the little thing another one falls on the hand and yes! its the rain finally. The face brightens up, the smile is evident. And theres one more drop on the cheek and one on the lips and before realizing its a down pour....

Welcome to the monsoons!!! It high time this side of mother earth saw you.


=> Barren land. Mountains. Rocky roads. A bumpy ride in a vintage car...A convertible maybe?? Norah Jones singing "My heart is drenched in wine, you'll be on my mind...". Laughter, giggles, hugs and stolen kisses. Saying "I Love You.."


=> Fireplace in an ancient house. Snowfall. Grandma's rocking chair. A bean bag. A soft velvety mattress. And this-

"Like a flower
Waiting to bloom
Like a light bulb
In a dark room
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on

Like the desert waiting for the rain
Like a school kid waiting for the spring
Im just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on

My poor heart
It's been so dark
Since you've been gone
After all you're the one who turns me off
You're the only one who can turn me back on

My hi-fi is waiting for a new tune
My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on"



=> The ocean. The lazy winds. The ruffled unruly hair. Grains of sand on the face.The white sand. The salty kiss. And the heart singing-

"It's not the pale moon that excites me
That thrills and delights me, oh no
It's just the nearness of you

It isn't your sweet conversation
That brings this sensation, oh no
It's just the nearness of you

When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me
All my wildest dreams came true

I need no soft lights to enchant me
If you'll only grant me the right
To hold you ever so tight
And to feel in the night the nearness of you."



=> A long summer night. The hot air. The air conditioner of the car. The much needed conversation. Wishing the time never moved any further. The desire to be together. Being together. The holding of hands. A peck on the cheeks. A beautiful morning. Understanding "I Love You...". And the assurance.

Needy me!!!!

Love
sleep
food
tattoo
love
love
love
assurance
rains
dance
a clear sky
a car
stilettos
chocolate chip ice-creeeeeeam
devils food cake
johnny depp
hair color
a horse tattoo
long finger nails
manicure
pedicure
nose job
thumb replacement
tummy tuck
earrings
low rise cargos
snickers
halters
a new bed
my pillow
the right side
sound sleep
clear head
Love
Love
Love
A
P
assurance
my circle
alcohol
phillies
an empty road
solitude
a dungeon
darkness
solitude
Love
Ma
Pa
hugs
kisses
Love
theatre
movies
less flab
no paunch
Friends
straight forwardness
courage
desert
island
water
strength
Love
assurance
tentacles
fins
wings
fresh air
clouds
uninterrupted thoughts
Love
assurance...

If-

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Kipling

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

PS: Punarnaba, thank you for this wonderful poem.

A vivid dream..

The unfinished white building has been a part of all my dreams ever since I can remember. The dreams, on the other hand, I forget. But this particular dream has remained and I doubt would ever fade away. My alter ego taking me on an introspection ride!

"If ever given a chance to change one thing in your life what would it be? And my answer to it has always been, "Nothing, I have no regrets!!". Feels extremely proud saying in that but the fact is, if given a chance I would have broken lesser number of hearts. That is one thing I would want to undo if I ever got a chance to go back into time. You know why? Its because nothing said or done by someone to you leaves you completely. It lingers on, sometimes forever. It won’t pester you but it would be there, in the background. Its like one more line drawn on your life's canvas. I think I have been smart enough to understand a lot of things much early in my life. One-never try and forget because that is the time when the moments cling on to you with all the strength they can muster, two-talk about it. That’s the best way to move ahead taking all those jiffies along. It doesn't look so difficult then. Life is about moving ahead. Yeah to all the broken souls this would be sounding like yet another lecture but trust me it’s my observation and experience. Nothing remains forever. Neither good nor bad, neither happiness nor sadness. My dad has something similar written in hindi on an acrylic sheet in his office. It says 'Yeh bhi nahi rahega...ha ha ha'. It is so true. One of the biggest facts put in the simplest words.

According to me, the desire to relive certain moments gives rise to memories. Then why the hell would one want to run away from them??!!! Think about it. The deepest and the most understood moments in one's life are the ones that haunt most of us and the most. The constant conflict between the want to feel those moments again and trying to run away from them at the same time plays havoc to our mind and heart. Why bother ourselves so much when we can simply move ahead taking along everything that we have always wanted to? Each one of has that capacity. A leader never moves alone he takes the entire team along with him. That’s how it should be. Leading your own life shouldn't be about you moving ahead and discovering each time when you look back that you are all alone. Let those memories cling on. Let the moments take you in their stride. Come face to face with them whenever they want you to. Look them straight into the eyes and keep looking till its time for one more moment to happen and the present one to pass by. Everything has its time and occurrence and nothing happens before or after that. So even if you try to stop it your attempts would be wasted. Sometimes its clever work to surrender to the laws of nature because life sure comes a full circle...

Its not about making the right choices but about choosing what you want. Its about taking decisions and never going back on them. Its about getting ready to face the consequences once the decisions have been taken. Its about listening to yourself when people are shouting advices in your ears. Its about stopping trying to undoing and redoing things. Its about making one more effort and peeling off all the layers of impossibilities. Its about being there and then moving ahead..."

The whiteness of the building and the brightness of AE(alter ego) was almost blended. The dream has never returned after that but has left behind answers to a lot of unasked questions. These words resound in my head whenever I am confused. Do all of you have one such voice inside your head that comes to your rescue when you are lost? Have you all met your african dancer yet?

A detour...

from proper english and the course my blogs take normally. But this is important as it affects my peace of mind adversely. I am the kind who makes sure every sentence that I write is gramatically correct and I surely take great efforts in doing so. But when I come across stuff like the one written below I have no other option but to express my strong opinion about it! Like many I happen to be a regular orkut user and like many I get hundreds of friends request. Most of them that r ignored str8away but some like these dont leave my head easily, the kinds that slaughter and kill the sophistication of the language sending ten different meanings everytime you read them but never conveying what exactly it had been aimed for!! Even before starting I would like to apologise for using such jargons and abbreviations. But its an attempt to make the blog more opinionated and rebellious!
Read on...


Hi Dear Friend
how are you?
well dear i wanna take attension from your mind,because i hope that
you don't mind. well dear i wanna draw some lines in your honorable
friendships purpose. dear friend i m male and my name is dastagir and I m
looking for true and sincer friends, so if you don't mind then i wanna
make friendship with you so do you like to be my sincer and true
friend???? Well dear i think it's enough for now so now i let you go and
i hope that you will reply me soon. i will wait anxiously your answer.
Take Care of your self
Your's New Friend and Your's Well Wisher
dastagir....


I dont know what goes into the head of Mr. Dastagir when he writes the above lines. I never got around to writing back to him, had no intentions as such but taking the advantage of this being my space alone I am punching down a reply:-


-> First and foremost 'Dear' is a word you dont use for me especially if you trying to grab ma attention!
-> I am fine,thank you very much!
-> You wanna take attension from my mind???U surely have managed to do that!Succeeded in getting ma attention and not attension(puhlease!!!)And I obviously mind!
-> You wanna draw lines where and for what? What on earth do you want to draw lines in ma honorable friendship for?!(Thank god U spelled 'friendship' correctly!).
-> Dear!!! Phew!! 4th time in a row!!! Ur a male! Thanks for clarifying that but thank u, only a stupid dumb man can spare so much time to come up with such a horrendous friends request!
I guessed your gender from the minute I started reading ur attempt to make friendship with me! And yeah you must be looking for 'true and sincer' friends but spare my brains from getting racked by such insensible and folly friendship proposals!!!
-> What is it mister with u and sincerity and truthfulness?? No one has ever told you how painful it is to even have such a scrap like this?!! You wanna make friendship with me? Did i hear that correctly?? It sounded like U wanted to make out!!
-> Even u realised that its enough!!! Gosh!! Am grateful you let me go finally!!!
-> I am sane enough not to reply to your lame friends request- you have made sure of that!
-> After all this you still expect me to accept ur friends request??? u must be kidding me!!
-> Your my wel-wisher! Thank u again for that! But no that wont give u a place in my friends list.

On second thoughts, had you spent the time that you spent in constructing such grammatically incorrect sentences in learning a little bit of angrezi, you could have done much better!!!
How about a Rapidex-learn english in 60 days course!!!

Encounters..

Almost 22! I had never wondered before today just how many people I have met till date. A million?? Maybe, I must have. So many faces and so many more faces. Some have looked at me with adulation and some have merely stared. Some smiled, others frowned. Some had tears in their eyes and some had understanding. Some were such that I could go on looking at them forever. Some motivated me and some made me feel dejected. Some turned green with envy, some, red with anger. Some turned pink while some turned crimson. The faces that had once talked with me or had laughed at a joke that I had cracked. The faces that had questioned and the faces that had answered. The face that turned around just to have one more look at me and the face I wanted to look at for one last time. The faces that made me laugh and the faces that angered me. Faces, faces and more faces. Most of them have dissolved into the vastness of the space but there are some that have still remained. They still cling on to me, onto my subconscious. Thats why I dream...meaningless. Failing to comprehend what makes those faces re-appear. Maybe there is still some connection left. Some conversation with them that I must have left incomplete due to lack of expression or because I thought it was too late. At this, my mind questions again-Whats the right time? Isnt it true that circumstances have to be created? Then why do you wait for things to happen?Isnt it in our hands to take things forward. No tom, dick or harry would come and do it for us! Why do you wait then? Patience-When your aim is clear you pursue it with all the patience you can have. But when you dont know what the end is gonna be what do you do? Wait and go on waiting? Thats foolishness. Waiting patiently for things you know will happen is different than waiting for things that you guess would take place. Banking on nothing at all. You dont fight a losing battle,do you? Thats foolishness again. So what do you do? Move ahead. Leave the past behind, let the bygones be bygones and start afresh! Make the mind your slave, control all the feelings, put a stop to all the fluctuating visions and prepare yourself for the bigger and better things in life. Life- a four letter word that encapsulates everything that a human being was born to experience. Mind- another four letter word thats absolutely tailor-made. Ready to fit every skull. Ready to cater to all your demands. The most fascinating piece of God's work. He must have created it only when his sole competitior was he,himself. Mind- It tricks you, it fools you, it plays for you, it plays with you. You hallucinate. You foresee. You may never know the difference. You might go crazy and still believe your the sanest man alive! Thats the power of mind!

Sitting here and letting my mind wander here there everywhere I realize that almost everything in my life is planned. Planned by no one but me.The faces, the incidents, the emotions, everything was always somewhere in the cosmos and I simply went through all of it as and when my mind and physical body was capable to handle it. What more? All of it was unknowingly thought of at some point of time and space at a very early stage of my life. The once passing thoughts took a physical form and its only then that I realized that all the good, bad, love, hatred is in the head. I am a body of flesh and blood possessing the most powerful and the most intelligent motor anyone could ever think of designing-the mind. And as I shall grow this motor will work towards designing my life as and how I wish it to be. In the process I will blame and thank equally. And thus more and more incidents will gather to make up what I will later call as my life-story. My mind being the sole object bearing the responsibility for whatever takes place in the run.

Whats in store? I will never know but a thousand encounters with innumerable faces and hundred odd situations I have already been in and out of teach me that however well prepared I am, I am still not ready for the unexpected. For this time the unexpected being Love...and its still blooming!!

The truth,the whole truth and nothin but the truth...

I got married!!! Shocked??!!! Ok let me re-tool my lexicon. In my mind I am married to him. No! 'The mind' belongs solely to him. I got married to him in my heart and I am still to find a word in the dictionary that best describes my current state-of-mind. Is there something beyond bliss??? If yes and anyone finds a word for it do let me know. Because its much more than the words ever had the power to express. I never knew the person who had all the qualities to become the most hated person became the most important Man of my life.
Its funny, our love story. We met on the dance floor, just a perfect place for two people to fall in love, but we!! Nothing happened there despite of two hours every week of looking into each others eyes. It never occurred to me then that he would be The One it would be difficult to imagine my life without. Its just been a few months that we met and it already feels as if I have lived a lifetime with him. He was right when he said distances are only of miles because mentally he is always besides me, sometimes looking at me when I am sleeping and sometimes when I am out with friends. Things started happening when we got talking on the phone. His not-so-appealing voice became a need gradually. His talks, an addiction. It took me a while to realize what was happening. He would agree whole heartedly(mindedly, hubby-bee??ha ha ha) if I say his 'Maybe's' became mine and to a large extent, my laconic 'Yes' and 'Nos' now belong to him. If my giggles make him smile, its his deep voice that keeps me awake every night. If my indifference irritates him, its his 'raje' and 'bachha' that make my heart melt.

Many a times I wondered, will I ever achieve the heights of loving someone the way I have wanted to and will I ever find someone who would comprehend me exactly how its meant to be.

Does John Galt exist? After meeting my husband I would say Yes. Someone so perfect that my imperfections were reflected clearly, someone so generous that it left me wordless. So giving, that it became difficult not to reciprocate. He, for me is a thousand things. A wax statue at Madame Tussaud's which I could only admire, a distant star that I could only wish upon, the Porsche in the showroom which I could only dream of. It wasn't love at first sight for me but now that it has happened its growing with every passing day.
And after my constant arguments with him over what is right, the heart or the mind, I have concluded both of them are because his mind agreed with my heart and look where we have reached....The highest peak of TOGETHERNESS!!!

I don't know what Perfect Love is. But if ever I was asked to define it I would say-
'Its not about liking and disliking the same things but its about mutually agreeing on the most important aspects of life. Its about being sure that you will love the person more than yesterday despite the distance that separates and the time that passes by. Its about waiting everyday, patiently to listen to that one voice that will make the rest of your day. Its not about possessing him but its about setting him free, letting him go.
Love is, when its about 'Him' and the 'I' blended harmoniously..'

By the way, I never told you this Mr. Diplomat, someone once told me "People find their life-parters on the dance floor."

Horizon..

I smell the wetness of the soil. As I raise my head to look at the sky the rain begins to pour.The first few drops kiss my face and I spread my hands to hold them in my fingers. I move slowly, my gait steady. The wet ground beneath my bare feet, numbing them, sending a shiver through my body. I am frozen. Frozen by the realisation of the feeling that had race past me, ignoring me as if I never deserved it.

It has happened again.The words,the expressions and their manifestation.Thought I left them way behind. But they pulled me back and made me walk the path I never thought I would be treading again with the moments and the feelings almost subsided. Something waited for me eagerly, something so full of life that it made my eyes twinkle.

Its his voice in the late of the night, that tickles, when the silence unfolds. With him I hear the silence speak while words lose themselves in the oblivion. His deep whisper tittilates like he is just behind me breathing heavily on my neck, uttering words that are only for me. With the clock ticking by I slowly drift away from the conscious world to the subconscious where the reality is waiting for me to embrace it.Yes..I am ready for it.My mind is made up to look into its face and say "I own it.The feeling is mine...".

After numerous conflicts between the heart and mind, the heart has come out triumphant. His emotional spectrum plays with the whites of my life and makes it vibrant. The passion has returned,the fire enkindled.The bland spaces of my life are robbed of their monotonic rut. The nature chuckles as it finds me noticing the sun appearing brighter than before and the winds changing their course.

It settled inside of me,the ever growing want and the incessant wait. Like so many unfulfilled wishes this too comfortably becomes one with the complex labyrinth of my unpredictable life.Unlike so many unfulfilled wishes I find content with just the thought of having the mind to understand and intercept the meaning the feeling produces.

In my solitude, even today, I walk constantly like a traveller motivated by the magic the sun creates while it plays with the sand and tricks my eyes just to reach the place that quenches my soul and responds to the thousand words that wait to be heard, only to discover one more horizon and a long journey before I finally reach where I belong.