Missing : Mothership

No one warned me that being an immigrant meant being stuck in time. 

My life is anything but simple. But my life has hardly ever been what it appears from the outside. You could argue I'm the perfect candidate for being an influencer. Fake it for the world when on the inside I'm seething with rage and dissatisfaction. But the truth is, despite years in this world, I haven't exactly learned how to be two things at once. 

Linearity is where I am at home. 

I start my day happy, I'm kind to everyone I meet. I'm politer, feel charitable, an urge to do a lot more, a belief in a happy world reinstated. I'm efficient, I shop for groceries, cook dinner, plan the next days meal, feel obliged to give advice to the one I love, hold back nasty words that sting, simply give the ones around my space to be. That kinda linear. 

But steadiness comes from belonging. And for so long I have felt like I belong,  I had forgotten how the opposite of it could ravage my very being. 

You know its easy to be bright and brave at work when you can reach your workplace without the help of GPS? Friendlier with colleagues when you're familiar with their inside chatter? Speak up when you don't have to worry about rent. Or simply plan when the present isn't holding you back. 

Being yourself - is a lofty expectation. And being an immigrant is the perfect mockery of it. 

I'm a fool, a lost fool, guddling for gold in a mud pond. Trying to look past the syzygy, hoping the mothership will take me home. 

The new girl

I looked at her face and saw no depth in it. Maybe that's why she is the perfect match for him. Out of all the Facebook congratulatory messages on her page, one particular comment caught my eye. Someone called 'Guruma' had poured her blessings all over the comments section and I was ready for a genda phool to miraculously drop out of her profile picture! Based on her gooey sentiments I guessed she was someone whose opinions were highly valued. Possibly she was the divine intervention that led to this ludicrous union. 

I couldn't help cry a wee bit at the painful irony of this. A spiritual guru whose aim should be to help this girl detach from moh-mahya of sansaar is helping her become a part of it. But isn't this normal in elitist circles? Diamond clad spiritually awakened damsels helping pin-brained fellow fools get by with everyday life. It is.

Excuse me for forgetting the superficiality of the place where she has gone to, but it has been a while since I bid adieu to it. 

Since she did agree to this communion, it is safe to assume she knows he is a closet psychiatric patient who will remain behind closed doors until it is safe for him to come out, which is basically when they will have been officially hooked.

I am assuming she is aware that drunk incidences and the ruckus behavior that follows will be part of her daily life and that she is a non-ambitious, subservient woman who is absolutely ok to trade her independence and sense of self with diamonds and foreign vacations. And that vacations will be spent locked-up in five-star hotels drinking and sleeping.

I am guessing this must have seemed absolutely exciting to her. So much so that she did not bother inquiring about his past. Well, I resigned too. She must have too, by now.

I looked at her photographs once again.

Her skin deep existence made so much sense.

What you seek, has trapped you.

I finished reading 'The Seeker' by Karan Bajaj. The book is about a man's quest to discover the cause of all pain and misery. His journey is so intense and so long that I cant help but recollect a woman's words, casually spoken about kundalini by her in an attempt to awe me, 'and I went into samadhi while I was watching Aastha channel. I went into a deep tunnel and I dont know for how long I was in there.. here right here I was sitting on the bed and it happened", as I looked on, appalled at listening to the words uttered by her so casually, she non chalantly added, 'my kundalini has been awakened."

All the while she was narrating what she thought was kundalini awakening, her husband egged her on, nodding in agreement and finishing all her sentences as if he knew exactly how it felt when the kundalini awakens when in reality he is far more materialistic than materialism itself and lacks total sense of control over his tongue and eyes, leave aside the kundalini.

This woman, head of a dysfunctional family, a self-proclaimed spiritual goddess who enjoys a cult like following within her elite circle and her family, had spoken of 'kundalini awakening' without practising a single yogasan or pranayam ever in her life. Listening to her talk about something so profound so casually, my heart broke. And this wasn't the first time she had been on this jaunt. She enjoyed narrating her own stories of healing and the numerous magical powers only she was blessed with, immensely and regardless of whether anyone else did. So when I heard her talk on the subject, I went deep into my shell, avoiding all spiritual talks because she had reduced it to a frivolous ego-massaging activity.

I couldn't help but notice that she was a complete contrast of what a real yogi is. fragile, the kind who couldn't go out in the sun without her gucci glasses and sunscreen, the kind who applied dermatologist recommended anti-aging creams every night before going to sleep, the kind who couldn't poo in a public toilet, the kind who went to kitty parties, spent hours on the phone, was covered from head to toe in diamonds and bought more every month on emi's and despite all of this claimed she was simple, down-to-earth and detached.

She was the kind of a woman who was more materialistic than materialism itself, the one whose sense of 'I-ness' was buried under the million layers dominated by her sense of 'me-ness'. And yet, she basked in the glory of her pseudo-spirituality.

I couldn't stop feeling agitated by her utter disrespect for the very science yogis spent a lifetime understanding and absolute audacity with which she claimed she had mastery over all. But something in the book that I read today answered questions that have haunted me for sometime now; aren't such people ever jolted back to reality? Do they continue to bask in their pseudo-glory forever? doesn't nature have a way of getting back to them? And the answer is that the nature is, even as I write this and way before I knew her because the world is a result of cause and effect. as you sow, sow you reap. Want followers, will get followers. Want appreciation, will get appreciation. Want ego pampering, will get only that. The cycle never breaks and the person in the cycle is never going to be free.

That woman, who believes herself to be a divine and enlightened being, is living in her own bubble, thinking she is making progress when all that she is doing is going round and round in the same direction. Worse is, she isn't even aware of it and even worse is she might never find out. and this is how nature has gotten back to her. By letting her live in the make-belief world of healing powers she owns when all that she is doing is fooling the spiritually clueless who surround her. She is nothing but just another face in the sea of faces, who are stuck in the cycle of cause and effect and are unlikely to break it anytime soon.

It is said, spiritual ego is worse than that of a person who has never been on this path. and this one here, is a living example of it.

God bless her.

'Better than ruling this world,

Better than attaining the realms of God,

Better than being lord of all the worlds,

is one step taken on the path to nirvana.'

dhammapad, chapter 13

Adiyogi’s worst nightmare and our PMs biggest dream – World Yog Day

I like Narendra Modi. I voted for him. I believed in his visions of development based on hullabaloo surrounding Vibrant Gujarat, ‘Khushboo Gujarat Ki’ campaign and the upcoming GIFT city until two things happened; he decided to make the world’s tallest statue that will cost money we can run entire countries on for years and years and he decided to celebrate International Yog Day on June 21^st.

I’d still let him pass on the statue matter, only and only because I have never faced livelihood issues on a daily basis so wastage of ‘public money’ though massive doesn’t touch me directly and like several others, after a point, I fail to empathize.

But the International Yog Day disturbs me. The feeling it produces tugs at my heart in a way only those who feel what I do will understand and that’s why I choose to word it out.

If I know correctly, after several years of yogic practices, Modiji himself had chosen sainthood during or before his RSS years and had only returned because his Guru had asked him to. At the time, if I may dare say, even he must not have been aware of what the fate had in mind. But he listened to his guru, went on to join politics and as they say, the rest is history.

The International Yog Day as we all know is a worldwide event. 177 nations support it and if Wikipedia is true then it had the "highest number of co-sponsors ever for any UNGA Resolution of such nature." No wonder everyone is talking about International Yog Day; hoardings in malls, by the pavements, on the roads, pamphlets at the traffic signals, banners on the web, ads on YouTube, Instagram posts and 5 out of 10 tweets with the hash tag World Yog Day.

Modiji has achieved for International Yog Day what he has managed to for every other venture he has undertaken – create a buzz. And here is where my problem with this day starts. If one digs a little deeper, one would come to know that Yog is not a one day activity and that’s why celebrating it on a single day is not enough. Thorough knowledge of Yogic science along with enough stress on regular practice requires years of persuasion and diligence. A single day event can excite people enough to enroll in classes and make resolutions to practise every day, but we all know what happens to New Year resolutions, don’t we?

I belong to advertising industry and know that each year clients plan activities around days such as Father’s Day, Mother’s day, etc., etc.. These activities are one e-mailer long, an entire campaign long or an entire day long. Sales increase, restaurants, malls and event management companies make money, media space sells at higher rates than normal and as night falls the frenzy dies down and we move on to writing copy for another day. So far, I have not seen long-term and thoughtful activities around days. And if you ask me I don’t see International Yog Day being treated any differently.

Though a lot of yog teachers are endorsing this move, there is one set of people who I think might remain unfazed or indifferent with the idea of International Yog Day; the authentic Yog teachers. I say this from personal experience, an experience of 21 days spent in an ashram in Rishikesh, that authentic Yog teachers give a rats ass about publicity. I can’t stress enough but they don’t want to teach a class of 60. They don’t want their classes filling up with queues stretching outside until the end of the corridor. They don’t want to be known in the elite circles neither do they want to indulge in superficial leading-no-where sort of intellectual conversations. All they care for and have been caring for is providing their limited amount of students, the real yog experience; the one that isn’t limited to practicing asans or meditating alone but the one that covers the Yams and Niyams, Asan, Pranayama, Dharana, Dhyan, Pratyahar and Samadhi, the whole nine yards because they know at the cellular level, what Yog really is and are committed to teaching just that. 

If Modiji’s dream is to see an asan practising, mindful, self-aware and a harmonious world then doing head stands on a large ground with thousand others every year on the 21^st June will not suffice. He should be working on a very comprehensive and a cohesive strategy that imbibes yog in the lives of people in a way that they start recounting the real reasons behind doing a particular asan like they remember ad jingles. He should concentrate on quality which gets lost when people in massive numbers are involved and not publicity. After all, Yog as he rightly said, but I have my doubts will achieve, “…is an invaluable gift of India's ancient tradition. It embodies unity of mind and body; thought and action; restraint and fulfilment; harmony between man and nature; a holistic approach to health and well-being. It is not about exercise but to discover the sense of oneness within yourself, the world and the nature...”

Some day last year

The wife stepped out to sell off her jewelry 

while the mother drove home a brand new Audi.

The husband sobbed, the son winked 

and irony rolled on the floor laughing.  

Dream catcher

these stars... i want them in radium on the ceiling. because i have a feeling, underneath their glow, i will sleep better.

closure, i believe, heals.

the same guy who is begging her to marry him now had previously called off the wedding. and she, the then pleading, all surrendering, self-condemning woman, turns him down and walks away.
had she not chosen to set out on her honeymoon, alone, her world would have ended for she did not become mrs. dhingra.
or worse if she had married him, she would have spent the rest of her life trying to become the image he had in mind, giving up her raw, beautiful and undiscovered self for his mediocre visions of a happily-ever-after. 
either ways, she would have been the loser and nothing, believe me nothing would have changed in the guy's life.
but in reel life, RANI lived on and the bad guy repented. life came a full circle for the broken, the beaten and the betrayed. 
and once more bollywood fulfilled a real life wish through a reel life story.  and found an ardent fan in me. 

Moving, enlightening, touches you deep.

A very moving talk by one of the most revered photojournalists of our time - Sebastiao Salgade

An exhibition on visual history of yog

An exhibition drawn from 25 collections from across Europe, USA and India. 100 master pieces of Indian Art and some extraordinary films thats tell the amazing stories of Yoga and also show the beauty, depth and diversity of the Indian culture. For all those who are interested in centering their lives around Yog, this exhibition presents a rare insight into its existence since time immemorial.

The exhibition went on air in SFO USA and Cleveland in year 2014.

A museum of conflicts

A city-based web portal covered a very unusual place long time ago. This post is take directly from that portal. Read on and be amazed. 

“Unbelievable! This kind of place exists? Seriously?” – That was our first reaction when we came to know about this place.

Welcome to the one of its kind museum in India : CONFLICTORIUM – THE MUSEUM OF CONFLICTS!

The Conflictorium is set to be a participatory museum that addresses the theme of conflicts. The museum got inaugurated on 14th April 2013 and is the brainchild of Avani Sethi in collaboration with Navsarjan, Janvikas and Ideal Centre for Social Justice and associate partners.

It seeks to act as a third space to create a dialogue through art. Donated by Ms Bachuben Nagarwala, the Gool Lodge building used to be her two-storey home & studio, where she practiced as Ahmedabad’s first hair stylist.

It houses history of different kind of conflicts that Gujarat has witnessed in past. But that’s not all; the museum has some real unheard things to do & experience : Conflict Timeline, Theatre Of Conscience, Inner purity, Empathy alley, Moral Compass, Memory lab, Power Of The New, Perspectives, Third side café, Reconciliation workshop, Gallery Of Disputes, Sorry Tree, Touch/Be Touched, Conversation Quadrangle .

For example … experience “In the house and in that world”. Listen to the audio clip while sitting in front of the same mirror that was used by Bachuben, Ahmedabad’s first hair stylist. What will happen? You will see your inner side in the mirror, feel what she used to do and get energized after you have finished this clip. Follow the instructions and do what they asked in the audio. Do it, because we did it! Similarly, there are many other amazing things to experience.

Not just look around this place, also interact with the people there, participate to generate ideas and content freely through the various spaces at this museum, enroll in several courses and workshops offered there. Also, register with them against a fee and be a “Friend of the Conflictorium.” They are also planning to run movies every week at their beautiful auditorium

We can keep writing but we will run short of words … so we can only say “You can’t miss to experience this place.”

For photographs of the place please visit http://www.cityshor.com/ahmedabad/conflictorium

Cheers!

Women are powerful, elephants are proof.

Based on an excerpt from The Oath of the Vayuputras there is evidence that in the scheme of nature, women were made smarter, nature made them that way!

In oath of the vayuputras, the male elephants are best suited to be trained for war. The reason females are not included is because they need a very strong purpose to attack someone, like a threat to their own child whereas the males, because they spend most of their adult life surviving on their own become tough nuts, which once cracked are easy to manage and remain loyal to their mahaout's command.

In the elephant matriarchal system all the important decisions are taken by the eldest female species. Decisions like where to feed, who remains and who has to go out of the herd. The males are kicked out when they are adolescents. Female elephants move in a herd as they are good at protecting each other's calves. Male elephants are invited in for a little while when the females want to be impregnated!

Cold and unfair as it may look, but as Ganesh explains, nature is concerned with efficiency not fairness.

And hold on, there's a tip in the excerpt that might be helpful to the wives, girlfriends in decoding and knowing their partners behavior. Elephant males are somewhat like human males. They both are out their struggling to make a living, they are survivors of sorts and carry a hard, cold shell around them. But its only a matter of time before they are broken in by their lady love, they remain loyal to their master(read wives ;))and act as instructed! 

Please dont kill me for this analogy.. but it is definitely fun to make it! No offence intended to anyone!!