Always at some point of life we come across people, places or things which influence us deeply. Sadhana Mandir is one such place and G is one such MBO(mind body organism) in my life, thinking of who re-instates my faith in the existence of selfless human beings.
I dedicated a lot of time to myself undoing the old and making space for the new. I reckon getting rid of trash on a regular basis is a must. My experience at SM helped me do that. I once talked about Utility Chamber as a place where I could face things the way they were and let go of them. SM is better than that. Today when I close my eyes I can smell Sadhana Mandir, feel the tranquil surroundings, and listen to the gurgling of the Ganga outside the ashram.
When I learnt to meditate, I had a challenge gauging the effects of it. Possibly because I was trying to relax in an already serene and a pious environment (I am talking about the ashram I had learnt it at). But today when I go into Shavasan after a day’s work, I feel a wave of relaxation sweeping through and I recall G's words. He'd told me he was building in me strong tissue memories. The way they have been engraved in my mind, these tissue memories help me stay connected with what I hold in the highest light, the process of living in the world yet above it.
Yesterday when I sat down with dad to meditate and began de-conditioning, I re-did a lot of things. It was like the scene from Unfaithful where Connie (Diane Lane) thinks about the first time she meets Paul (Oliver Martinez) by chance and gets into this 'What-if I had not gone upstairs with him for coffee' mode. For me it was a conscious effort to undo all the entangled thoughts and surrender them to the Divine One.
G reconditioned me, transformed me and brought me closer to the Nidhi I once was, the Nidhi I had lost somewhere, the Nidhi that should be, the Nidhi that is. I cannot thank G for he won’t take that. I remember he believes in delayed gratifications. And that would happen only when I ‘build my life around Sadhana and not otherwise’.
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"…realize in your daily life that 'matter' is merely an aggregation of protons and electrons subject entirely to the control of Mind; that your environment, your success, your happiness, are all of your own making… All wealth depends upon a clear understanding of the fact that mind- thought - is the only creator. The great business of life is thinking. Control your thoughts and you control circumstances.The Seven Factors of Awakening are mindfulness, investigation of phenomena, diligence, joy, ease, concentration, and letting go." - great piece,yet again...
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