Utility chamber and a volley of thoughts

As I lay sprawled over the roof top of my pent house I felt a subtle calm spread all over me. The winds playing with my hair,tickling my senses so much that the smile stubbornly stayed on my lips for a very long time. Discovery of this place had been very welcoming, especially after a long, hectic and a wasted day at college. Looking up at the blue sky I spread my arms wide open hoping to take in whatever my vision would let me, hugging tight, clinging on to the sky as if for some kinda assurance. I thought to myself, it was not so bad afterall. I could always climb up and come to this place to find that one thing that I missed all day......being myself. The distant lights signify something....I dont know what...maybe they tell me that there is always a beginning to an end.. I could lie on that cold white glittering stone forever...the touch with the cold floor distracts me for a while..takes my mind to a place where I dont have to listen to people who dont make sense,who laugh for no reason, who never have a straight Yes or No for an answer.

The entire apartment under my feet and the interminable sky above..I stand up and walk to the edge..just one step closer and I will be counting micro-seconds before I hit the ground. I keep looking down for a long time waiting to come over the urge to jump.nah!!!dont u think I m upset or given up on life.......I just find it amusing. The steady smile says it all. And now I suddenly realise....had I been home I wouldnt have been able to think all of this..perhaps I would have been doing something menial...most of things that u do are menial(on second thoughts),you just have to prioritise them. And now as I stand here I tell myself this place is no less than a chamber itself with air acting as concrete and the sky which has now turned black, as the roof. Its my chamber where I can look anywhere, think anything, confess, criticise, just anything. Its a place where I need no breathers..Its a place where all my thoughts fall obediently in line as beads would onto a thread,one after another, some coming in bundles, the rest slowly, lazily. Get a grip you would say...hark!! This is where I let my self loose, become vulnerable and stand naked and surrender to the realms of reality. The roof-top does justice to its title which I will give it now-The Utility chamber.

I have sat here for more than an hour now thinking hard,harder. What would happen if tomorrow never came..is that possible??..ha ha..I laugh out aloud without even realising it..its inevitable..and the sun will rise from the east..it has to.