Missing : Mothership

No one warned me that being an immigrant meant being stuck in time. 

My life is anything but simple. But my life has hardly ever been what it appears from the outside. You could argue I'm the perfect candidate for being an influencer. Fake it for the world when on the inside I'm seething with rage and dissatisfaction. But the truth is, despite years in this world, I haven't exactly learned how to be two things at once. 

Linearity is where I am at home. 

I start my day happy, I'm kind to everyone I meet. I'm politer, feel charitable, an urge to do a lot more, a belief in a happy world reinstated. I'm efficient, I shop for groceries, cook dinner, plan the next days meal, feel obliged to give advice to the one I love, hold back nasty words that sting, simply give the ones around my space to be. That kinda linear. 

But steadiness comes from belonging. And for so long I have felt like I belong,  I had forgotten how the opposite of it could ravage my very being. 

You know its easy to be bright and brave at work when you can reach your workplace without the help of GPS? Friendlier with colleagues when you're familiar with their inside chatter? Speak up when you don't have to worry about rent. Or simply plan when the present isn't holding you back. 

Being yourself - is a lofty expectation. And being an immigrant is the perfect mockery of it. 

I'm a fool, a lost fool, guddling for gold in a mud pond. Trying to look past the syzygy, hoping the mothership will take me home. 

The new girl

I looked at her face and saw no depth in it. Maybe that's why she is the perfect match for him. Out of all the Facebook congratulatory messages on her page, one particular comment caught my eye. Someone called 'Guruma' had poured her blessings all over the comments section and I was ready for a genda phool to miraculously drop out of her profile picture! Based on her gooey sentiments I guessed she was someone whose opinions were highly valued. Possibly she was the divine intervention that led to this ludicrous union. 

I couldn't help cry a wee bit at the painful irony of this. A spiritual guru whose aim should be to help this girl detach from moh-mahya of sansaar is helping her become a part of it. But isn't this normal in elitist circles? Diamond clad spiritually awakened damsels helping pin-brained fellow fools get by with everyday life. It is.

Excuse me for forgetting the superficiality of the place where she has gone to, but it has been a while since I bid adieu to it. 

Since she did agree to this communion, it is safe to assume she knows he is a closet psychiatric patient who will remain behind closed doors until it is safe for him to come out, which is basically when they will have been officially hooked.

I am assuming she is aware that drunk incidences and the ruckus behavior that follows will be part of her daily life and that she is a non-ambitious, subservient woman who is absolutely ok to trade her independence and sense of self with diamonds and foreign vacations. And that vacations will be spent locked-up in five-star hotels drinking and sleeping.

I am guessing this must have seemed absolutely exciting to her. So much so that she did not bother inquiring about his past. Well, I resigned too. She must have too, by now.

I looked at her photographs once again.

Her skin deep existence made so much sense.

What you seek, has trapped you.

I finished reading 'The Seeker' by Karan Bajaj. The book is about a man's quest to discover the cause of all pain and misery. His journey is so intense and so long that I cant help but recollect a woman's words, casually spoken about kundalini by her in an attempt to awe me, 'and I went into samadhi while I was watching Aastha channel. I went into a deep tunnel and I dont know for how long I was in there.. here right here I was sitting on the bed and it happened", as I looked on, appalled at listening to the words uttered by her so casually, she non chalantly added, 'my kundalini has been awakened."

All the while she was narrating what she thought was kundalini awakening, her husband egged her on, nodding in agreement and finishing all her sentences as if he knew exactly how it felt when the kundalini awakens when in reality he is far more materialistic than materialism itself and lacks total sense of control over his tongue and eyes, leave aside the kundalini.

This woman, head of a dysfunctional family, a self-proclaimed spiritual goddess who enjoys a cult like following within her elite circle and her family, had spoken of 'kundalini awakening' without practising a single yogasan or pranayam ever in her life. Listening to her talk about something so profound so casually, my heart broke. And this wasn't the first time she had been on this jaunt. She enjoyed narrating her own stories of healing and the numerous magical powers only she was blessed with, immensely and regardless of whether anyone else did. So when I heard her talk on the subject, I went deep into my shell, avoiding all spiritual talks because she had reduced it to a frivolous ego-massaging activity.

I couldn't help but notice that she was a complete contrast of what a real yogi is. fragile, the kind who couldn't go out in the sun without her gucci glasses and sunscreen, the kind who applied dermatologist recommended anti-aging creams every night before going to sleep, the kind who couldn't poo in a public toilet, the kind who went to kitty parties, spent hours on the phone, was covered from head to toe in diamonds and bought more every month on emi's and despite all of this claimed she was simple, down-to-earth and detached.

She was the kind of a woman who was more materialistic than materialism itself, the one whose sense of 'I-ness' was buried under the million layers dominated by her sense of 'me-ness'. And yet, she basked in the glory of her pseudo-spirituality.

I couldn't stop feeling agitated by her utter disrespect for the very science yogis spent a lifetime understanding and absolute audacity with which she claimed she had mastery over all. But something in the book that I read today answered questions that have haunted me for sometime now; aren't such people ever jolted back to reality? Do they continue to bask in their pseudo-glory forever? doesn't nature have a way of getting back to them? And the answer is that the nature is, even as I write this and way before I knew her because the world is a result of cause and effect. as you sow, sow you reap. Want followers, will get followers. Want appreciation, will get appreciation. Want ego pampering, will get only that. The cycle never breaks and the person in the cycle is never going to be free.

That woman, who believes herself to be a divine and enlightened being, is living in her own bubble, thinking she is making progress when all that she is doing is going round and round in the same direction. Worse is, she isn't even aware of it and even worse is she might never find out. and this is how nature has gotten back to her. By letting her live in the make-belief world of healing powers she owns when all that she is doing is fooling the spiritually clueless who surround her. She is nothing but just another face in the sea of faces, who are stuck in the cycle of cause and effect and are unlikely to break it anytime soon.

It is said, spiritual ego is worse than that of a person who has never been on this path. and this one here, is a living example of it.

God bless her.

'Better than ruling this world,

Better than attaining the realms of God,

Better than being lord of all the worlds,

is one step taken on the path to nirvana.'

dhammapad, chapter 13

Adiyogi’s worst nightmare and our PMs biggest dream – World Yog Day

I like Narendra Modi. I voted for him. I believed in his visions of development based on hullabaloo surrounding Vibrant Gujarat, ‘Khushboo Gujarat Ki’ campaign and the upcoming GIFT city until two things happened; he decided to make the world’s tallest statue that will cost money we can run entire countries on for years and years and he decided to celebrate International Yog Day on June 21^st.

I’d still let him pass on the statue matter, only and only because I have never faced livelihood issues on a daily basis so wastage of ‘public money’ though massive doesn’t touch me directly and like several others, after a point, I fail to empathize.

But the International Yog Day disturbs me. The feeling it produces tugs at my heart in a way only those who feel what I do will understand and that’s why I choose to word it out.

If I know correctly, after several years of yogic practices, Modiji himself had chosen sainthood during or before his RSS years and had only returned because his Guru had asked him to. At the time, if I may dare say, even he must not have been aware of what the fate had in mind. But he listened to his guru, went on to join politics and as they say, the rest is history.

The International Yog Day as we all know is a worldwide event. 177 nations support it and if Wikipedia is true then it had the "highest number of co-sponsors ever for any UNGA Resolution of such nature." No wonder everyone is talking about International Yog Day; hoardings in malls, by the pavements, on the roads, pamphlets at the traffic signals, banners on the web, ads on YouTube, Instagram posts and 5 out of 10 tweets with the hash tag World Yog Day.

Modiji has achieved for International Yog Day what he has managed to for every other venture he has undertaken – create a buzz. And here is where my problem with this day starts. If one digs a little deeper, one would come to know that Yog is not a one day activity and that’s why celebrating it on a single day is not enough. Thorough knowledge of Yogic science along with enough stress on regular practice requires years of persuasion and diligence. A single day event can excite people enough to enroll in classes and make resolutions to practise every day, but we all know what happens to New Year resolutions, don’t we?

I belong to advertising industry and know that each year clients plan activities around days such as Father’s Day, Mother’s day, etc., etc.. These activities are one e-mailer long, an entire campaign long or an entire day long. Sales increase, restaurants, malls and event management companies make money, media space sells at higher rates than normal and as night falls the frenzy dies down and we move on to writing copy for another day. So far, I have not seen long-term and thoughtful activities around days. And if you ask me I don’t see International Yog Day being treated any differently.

Though a lot of yog teachers are endorsing this move, there is one set of people who I think might remain unfazed or indifferent with the idea of International Yog Day; the authentic Yog teachers. I say this from personal experience, an experience of 21 days spent in an ashram in Rishikesh, that authentic Yog teachers give a rats ass about publicity. I can’t stress enough but they don’t want to teach a class of 60. They don’t want their classes filling up with queues stretching outside until the end of the corridor. They don’t want to be known in the elite circles neither do they want to indulge in superficial leading-no-where sort of intellectual conversations. All they care for and have been caring for is providing their limited amount of students, the real yog experience; the one that isn’t limited to practicing asans or meditating alone but the one that covers the Yams and Niyams, Asan, Pranayama, Dharana, Dhyan, Pratyahar and Samadhi, the whole nine yards because they know at the cellular level, what Yog really is and are committed to teaching just that. 

If Modiji’s dream is to see an asan practising, mindful, self-aware and a harmonious world then doing head stands on a large ground with thousand others every year on the 21^st June will not suffice. He should be working on a very comprehensive and a cohesive strategy that imbibes yog in the lives of people in a way that they start recounting the real reasons behind doing a particular asan like they remember ad jingles. He should concentrate on quality which gets lost when people in massive numbers are involved and not publicity. After all, Yog as he rightly said, but I have my doubts will achieve, “…is an invaluable gift of India's ancient tradition. It embodies unity of mind and body; thought and action; restraint and fulfilment; harmony between man and nature; a holistic approach to health and well-being. It is not about exercise but to discover the sense of oneness within yourself, the world and the nature...”

Some day last year

The wife stepped out to sell off her jewelry 

while the mother drove home a brand new Audi.

The husband sobbed, the son winked 

and irony rolled on the floor laughing.  

Dream catcher

these stars... i want them in radium on the ceiling. because i have a feeling, underneath their glow, i will sleep better.

closure, i believe, heals.

the same guy who is begging her to marry him now had previously called off the wedding. and she, the then pleading, all surrendering, self-condemning woman, turns him down and walks away.
had she not chosen to set out on her honeymoon, alone, her world would have ended for she did not become mrs. dhingra.
or worse if she had married him, she would have spent the rest of her life trying to become the image he had in mind, giving up her raw, beautiful and undiscovered self for his mediocre visions of a happily-ever-after. 
either ways, she would have been the loser and nothing, believe me nothing would have changed in the guy's life.
but in reel life, RANI lived on and the bad guy repented. life came a full circle for the broken, the beaten and the betrayed. 
and once more bollywood fulfilled a real life wish through a reel life story.  and found an ardent fan in me. 

Moving, enlightening, touches you deep.

A very moving talk by one of the most revered photojournalists of our time - Sebastiao Salgade

An exhibition on visual history of yog

An exhibition drawn from 25 collections from across Europe, USA and India. 100 master pieces of Indian Art and some extraordinary films thats tell the amazing stories of Yoga and also show the beauty, depth and diversity of the Indian culture. For all those who are interested in centering their lives around Yog, this exhibition presents a rare insight into its existence since time immemorial.

The exhibition went on air in SFO USA and Cleveland in year 2014.

A museum of conflicts

A city-based web portal covered a very unusual place long time ago. This post is take directly from that portal. Read on and be amazed. 

“Unbelievable! This kind of place exists? Seriously?” – That was our first reaction when we came to know about this place.

Welcome to the one of its kind museum in India : CONFLICTORIUM – THE MUSEUM OF CONFLICTS!

The Conflictorium is set to be a participatory museum that addresses the theme of conflicts. The museum got inaugurated on 14th April 2013 and is the brainchild of Avani Sethi in collaboration with Navsarjan, Janvikas and Ideal Centre for Social Justice and associate partners.

It seeks to act as a third space to create a dialogue through art. Donated by Ms Bachuben Nagarwala, the Gool Lodge building used to be her two-storey home & studio, where she practiced as Ahmedabad’s first hair stylist.

It houses history of different kind of conflicts that Gujarat has witnessed in past. But that’s not all; the museum has some real unheard things to do & experience : Conflict Timeline, Theatre Of Conscience, Inner purity, Empathy alley, Moral Compass, Memory lab, Power Of The New, Perspectives, Third side café, Reconciliation workshop, Gallery Of Disputes, Sorry Tree, Touch/Be Touched, Conversation Quadrangle .

For example … experience “In the house and in that world”. Listen to the audio clip while sitting in front of the same mirror that was used by Bachuben, Ahmedabad’s first hair stylist. What will happen? You will see your inner side in the mirror, feel what she used to do and get energized after you have finished this clip. Follow the instructions and do what they asked in the audio. Do it, because we did it! Similarly, there are many other amazing things to experience.

Not just look around this place, also interact with the people there, participate to generate ideas and content freely through the various spaces at this museum, enroll in several courses and workshops offered there. Also, register with them against a fee and be a “Friend of the Conflictorium.” They are also planning to run movies every week at their beautiful auditorium

We can keep writing but we will run short of words … so we can only say “You can’t miss to experience this place.”

For photographs of the place please visit http://www.cityshor.com/ahmedabad/conflictorium

Cheers!

Women are powerful, elephants are proof.

Based on an excerpt from The Oath of the Vayuputras there is evidence that in the scheme of nature, women were made smarter, nature made them that way!

In oath of the vayuputras, the male elephants are best suited to be trained for war. The reason females are not included is because they need a very strong purpose to attack someone, like a threat to their own child whereas the males, because they spend most of their adult life surviving on their own become tough nuts, which once cracked are easy to manage and remain loyal to their mahaout's command.

In the elephant matriarchal system all the important decisions are taken by the eldest female species. Decisions like where to feed, who remains and who has to go out of the herd. The males are kicked out when they are adolescents. Female elephants move in a herd as they are good at protecting each other's calves. Male elephants are invited in for a little while when the females want to be impregnated!

Cold and unfair as it may look, but as Ganesh explains, nature is concerned with efficiency not fairness.

And hold on, there's a tip in the excerpt that might be helpful to the wives, girlfriends in decoding and knowing their partners behavior. Elephant males are somewhat like human males. They both are out their struggling to make a living, they are survivors of sorts and carry a hard, cold shell around them. But its only a matter of time before they are broken in by their lady love, they remain loyal to their master(read wives ;))and act as instructed! 

Please dont kill me for this analogy.. but it is definitely fun to make it! No offence intended to anyone!!

Recharge your hair and never have a bad photo moment

I love selfies. But I am never satisfied with what I see in the pictures - a well decked up me with dull, lifeless hair! I realised after several clicks that unless hair perfectly falls on my shoulders and stays that way for the entire duration, no amount of dressing up or posing makes my pictures look amazing. As advised by my beautician, I use conditioner after every wash(and I wash thrice a week). My hair does feel soft but lacks the shine which is a true sign of healthy hair.  I have tried spas, they are effective but temporary. 

So after much ado, I decided it was time to find a lifetime recharge for my hairand got googling. And I did find a hair mask recipe that works instantly! 

Take 2 tbsp of mayo, 2 egg whites and 3 tbsp of olive/coconut oil(For medium length hair). Beat the mixture in a smooth, slimy paste and start by applying it on the ends. Once the split ends are covered, use it all up to cover the entire scalp. Dont massage. Just wear a shower cap or tie a poly bag around it. Wait for 30 minutes and shampoo your hair like you do. Dry your hair using a hair drier. The result is, smooth textured shiny manes that you have always wanted!! Do this every 15 days and never have a bad hair moment in front of the camera!! Click...click..click..

PS: My husband hates the smell of eggs, so I do this early in the morning, when he is asleep. And don't go too near him that one day. Lol. 

Conversations with Alter Ego

AE: Where am I? 

Ans: Far from reality. 

AE: Who am I? 

Ans: (a ringing silence)

AE: What roles do you play? 

Ans: Aah many. 

AE: Which one do you like playing the best?

Ans: None

AE: And which one do you like playing the least? 

Ans : Each one of them.

AE: Do you miss something? 

Ans: Yes, so many things.

AE: What all? 

Ans: My old self, my old free-willed, clear headed self, non-condemning self.

AE: How is the new self? 

Ans: There is no new self. Its just someone merely existing.

AE: What’s up with confidence? 

Ans: Oh, confusions replaced it.

AE; What’s up with strong headedness? 

Ans: It's considered a vile.

AE: No, it is your strength; it is what keeps you together, it is what gets you out of situations that are bad.

Ans: Yeah but I am made felt otherwise.

AE: Ok what happened to your career? 

Ans: Oh don’t ask. There isn’t any.

AE: Why have you become so aimless? This isn’t the girl I knew. This is definitely not the girl I once knew. 

Ans: What can I say AE, the real me is lost..some place. Please find her for me. Please..

Re-posting as this is important

I guess I am free to express opinions on a few selected topics more freely now. This one has been put up without any edits. Read on.

Chris brown sings forever in the background as I chat with a travel freak buddy online. He tells me Philipinnes is a honeymooners paradise.. hmm.. My colleagues are sitting around me.. I am drinking coffee and cribbing about it..Chris browns' forever is groovy.. atleast it makes me less sleepy. I ahve explored through a great many techie online mags in the last few hours and have discovered some very interesting stuff.

Group-on multi million dollar company is predicted to collapse.. owing to its business model.. the fake deep discounts that hurt small businesses more than one time paper ads.A guy called Rocky Agrawal explains in his 3-part series how Groupon is a problem child. Reading through the article I realise it is nothing but another company riding on the Americans way of living-on credits! Readthis to understand exactly what I am trying to say.

Groupon makes it to my blog because I work for a start up that's equally passionate about having a similar feature on its api. I cant give too many details(non-disclosure form), but these few articles featured on tech crunch have got me thinking about the repercussions of dealing with deals. They have helped me surface the question, I had not had until now thought of but was the reason for my confusion.

Seriously, even as a layman, I can understand this much, if the value of something is 1000 bucks and I get it for less than half the price, how does the company make for the loss it deliberately incurs? Hmmm.. Rocky Agrawal has the answers. He words out the most obvious flaw in the business model. Deep discounting is a way to acquire loyal customers is a dangerous notion, repeat customers through procured through groupon deals are definitely not good for a small businesses, the non-transparent revenue model loses local businesses into the oblivion and other such facts are enlightening.

This brings me to a resonating doubt I have had about everything digital. Though i work for an app making company, I fail to fully understand the significance of a lot many things . Check-ins, online sharing to name a few. How or why would the worlds brainiest people build apps to get people compromise with their privacy? Maybe its because I am yet to find an answer to this or I am a conservationist that stops me from being my creative best. I reckon I need to be fully convinced about the product to write about it in a good light or else.. I'd only end up producing work that is m-e-d-i-o-c-r-e.

The next thing that gets my attention is Instagram, a feature packed photo sharing app built for apple platform. It has in less than 8 months a database of 100 millions photographs and 5 millions customers. And that that the profits being split between 4 employees is a stand-up-and-take-notice fact.

Reflecting on the things I have read on techcrunch so far, I have a few notes to add here.

Mobile businesses thrive on millions of customers' first time experience. Back track this a little and I discover.. its not social media or anything like that but a humongous amount of people buying smart phones that social media thrives on. Whether check-in makes sense to you or no, you would still do it because you are made to believe that its the most effective way of telling friends where you at. I mean come on, do we really need to tell the world about what cafes we frequent except a few close friends who can be texted. And wont you head out to a place with friends.. probably check-ins is great for singletons looking to hook-up but other than that people who are well connected through calls and texts, I wonder how much does check-in affect their social life.

Businesses leverage impulsive, non-retain able emotions. Hierarchically, social media comes under smart phones. But then it becomes a loop; social media on a rise due to large smartphone user base which later on converts into smart phones built suited to accomodate social media features.

Attention deficit customers are good for online/mobile businesses. I seriously wonder for how long will this digital revolution continue to thrive. Quick, easy, short term is what drives most mobile businesses. Is it even right to instill temporariness and hype about it?

I don't know.. i seriously dont know.. but I see a ray of hope.. all thanks to Rocky Agrawal. :)

Disclaimer : The views are mine and I am just a another female, affected by the mobile world revolution. Please do not take me seriously.

Tales from my grandma

Did your grandma tell you stories when you were little? Mine did and she keeps telling me stories whenever we sit together. Like this time when we went to Anandpur, she told me tales about how the place was built in front of her eyes, how Gurumaharaj performed satsang, what toil people went through and what not.

The other stories she used to tell me in my young days were mostly fables, you know stories with morals like don't lie, don't steal, be honest, work hard, how God stands by the strong and true and punishes the evil. More or less every story had a similar end and there were in all 7-8 stories. But I remember going to my granny every night to hear them over and over. I vividly remember how she used to ask me "Aaj kaunsi wali sun ni hai?" or me going to her and saying " Aaj mombattiyon wali sunaona". Then there used to be times when she would go through each of them quickly until I stopped her at one and she would start from beginning to end. Despite the repetition, I have grown up hearing all those stories. Today when I went to see her, she told me another story about ego and sacrifice. Whle driving back home I was thinking to myself that some things that I received as a kid were priceless. Dadi ma ki kahaniyan.. are seriously some of the most precious events of my life. It stands for deep bonding, family time, harmony within a family and love above all.

Wow! I am just overcome by pride and humbled to be part of such a close knitted family. I am definitely going back to my granny to hear the 'mombattiyon wali kahani' all over again!

Its time to unclutter

Somewhere in the last few months I turned into something that until a little while back used to think was part of me. I convinced myself that through some human connections I will be able to connect with my core more deeply. Somewhere I thought, I had found that perfect human connection who was the closest to my own alter ego. But the same bond has made me feel diffident, unloved, insecure, unprotected, ugly and crazy more number of times than it has made me feel wanted, desirable, perfect and beautiful.

Until yesterday, I was ready to let go of my basic nature thinking what I'd become through impositions will also be me, one day. Until yesterday, I was ready to let go everything. But yesterday I realized, no amount of efforts are enough to satisfy anyone who cannot trust their own choices and cannot understand the importance of being courageous in life. Nothing that I would do, will make anyone confident. People who love misery, will stay in it.. however hard you try to pull them out of it.

People will wake up from ignorance only when they choose to. People change only when they choose to stop being adamant. People progress only when they choose to move out of their comfort zone and people can give fully only when they have the courage to accept and acknowledge other people fully.

Until then, no amount of anybody else's wisdom or goodness can help because to embrace even that is a matter of choice.

Haaah... that's life!

I can not get over the rainy season

Things have changed, they definitely have because yesterday evening when it began to pour, I was home..cooking. And then I was on phone for an hour or so. I did open the balcony door, did peek out and watched the rain fall but unlike old times not once did I stopped to gaze. But by night things had changed. Nostalgia had hit. Rains do that to me.. yesterday as well, I spent quite a bit of time recollecting some good memories attached to monsoon. The certain rituals that I have always been part of every monsoon are ingrained in my memory forever. Stuff like monsoon texts, spontaneous chai and dalwada meet-ups, long drives with songs playing full volume, getting drenched or simple sitting at home and hearing the rains pour are like the must-dos.

This time too I was woken up by an early morning call from an old buddy who couldn't stop ga ga-ing about the weather and the view from his house. 'What rains!!! What atmostphere! Chal aaja ghar chai peene ko.' We promised to catch up in a few days and hung up. Later when I drove to work, without a helmet, the wet roads, the puddles and the damp air and the drizzle did consume me.

Whatever might change, whatever might come and go, this season still is and will always remain my favorite!

BTW, I came across these lyrics in an article on the best advises mothers give to their daughters. Its by Lee Ann Womack and my eccentric head says is perfect for this weather :

This one is for mood revival and eternal hope :

'I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean.

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens.

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance.

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance.'

Things I read and listen

• A woman's confused over adopting her husband's last name as hers as she fears losing her identity if she did so.

Wow, really?! Like adopting his surname will enslave you. If your husband chose to be the dictator, adopting or not adopting his last name would become insignificant. Some food for thought for the lady though; the fact that he is letting you ponder over this mindless confusion says something about his liberal views right? If he wasn't concerned about your happiness and your freedom, would he even let you decide what surname you preferred? dah.. get a life!

• Google+ is better than Facebook/Finally Facebook has competition/Mark Zuckerburg joins Google+

Do I even care? Even if I don't, I am sure I will care enough tp waste my most useful time into figuring out how to connect with friends on Google+ who I have already re-re-re-connected on hi5 then Orkut and then on Facebook. One more 'social' network that succeeds in gluing me to my cellphone drowning away the real chatter.. actually everything real. What makes it worse for me is, I might soon need to come up with ideas and suggestions to market some of my products soon on Google+.

• Men who marry you promising the whole world, generally fulfill the promise.

An eye-opener conversation with a married friend, about what men say and what they mean, revealed some interesting facts about male attitude towards love and life in general. For ladies who have had the privilege to love a man and marry him too, might easily relate to the many things that I heard. Apart from fulfilling his promise to give you the best, he, if he has warned you about his love for untidiness, will unabashedly leave everything lying around and expect you to clear up so that he can find his den as clean as before. 'Men are kids' she said to me laughingly. 'Whether I like it or no, I have learnt it the hard say that my guy has to be mothered.'

Is she happy? For the time being her answer is a 'You bet ;)'.

• Astrologers decide your future for you.

I wore a stone(Guru) around my neck for a month, when my mum was here, believing(half-heartedly) that it will help me find a 'good' guy for marriage. I bought into stories like I will have a troublesome marriage, I will suffer and so will my husband and this pendant will bring the required balance. But, reasoning took over and I stopped wearing it. If wearing a stone could eradicate all the troubles, I would wear one each for all my problems right now and then I will attain what so many people can't - Moksha.. nai?

Nahi.. Astrology is a science which most astrologers themselves fail to understand and explain to seekers who come for help. I had asked the astrologer what sort of problems will I have to face after marriage and he had said grave ones. Like what? Umm.. really grave ones. Will it lead to divorce? Not divorce.. but real grave problems!!! So unclear are the words ' grave ones', I felt like telling the astrologer what he thinks is 'grave' is part of not just mine but everyone's life. A stone cannot change much, not atleast when the two people involved do not try hard enough. What I make of my marriage and what it makes of me is for me to work upon. So is the fate of the stone..which has found a respectable place in my house.. a place where it really belongs.

• Life is strange but best enjoyed when unplanned.

This one is my favorite. I just came back from Anandpur, a self sufficient religious town, run by the followers of Sri Paramhans Advait Mat and I have experienced the most unexpected to the most beautiful things in just a couple of days.

My family is a staunch follower of this sect and have always made it to Anandpur during the eve of Vyas Puja(guru Purnima). This time I accompanied my granny and bade papa to this place. The room we were alloted had no electricity except for a switch each for fan and bulb. The connectivity was horrible. Every place was so far away from where we stayed. 5 minutes on foot to the canteen, 10 minutes to the lunger-hall, 20 minutes on foot to the main temple and so many more minutes to figure a way to one place from another. Given almost nil connectivity, a total cut off from Facebook, the world that I lived in was filled with bald women clad in orange safas and white salwar-kameez. What I saw was young women being nudged by old for more space, women falling over each other in the hope of getting a glimpse of our guru and hands groping for packets of parle-g given away as prasad. And if this was not enough, I had the memorable journey back to Ahmedabad. Packed with rural MP population, they made my journey to and fro the toilet unimaginably irritable, I swear I could have picked a fight with a few for just standing in my way.

As much are these bitter incidents a part of my journey, a few good ones is what I am going to remember it for. Like right now, all I can think of is the sun setting at the temple, the aarti sung in unison by more than five thousand people, kadha prasad, my granny's slow walk, her incessant talk about the miracles she has seen her guru perform, the 4 '0' clock watery chai, the tasty traditional lunger, bad cellphone signal but more time to meet people and hear their stories, the 65 year old caretaker and her dedication towards this place, the yummy paranthas and achar that we somehow managed to eat in the over crowded train and the thoughtful 13 year old girl who woke her papa up and then her grand father for medicine.

Simple is rare

And thats why you gotta take a leap of faith.

HTC Desire S

If I was a boy, I would explicitly drool over the idea of touching this piece of art over and over. But despite being a girl, thank god I can still do it. Guess what am talking about? Its my new smartphone. Presenting *drum roll..* HTC Desire S. Phone of the (last) year, this one is packed with features more than you can fathom and apps more than you know counting.

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Rewind two months back - I am driving to office, my reflection time(read budgeting, bills pay karne hain, isko milna hai, udhar jana hai, grocery leni hai) and I have a passing thought about my phone : New Samsung Wave is not as impressive. Should splurge this time and get a better phone.

Fast forward a month and I have lost Samsung. The first thought - God definitely is listening

(to remotest thoughts.. divine interventions..:P) The second thought - time for some cell phone hunting.

But before that, a little self dialogue - Spending 23500/- on a phone is definitely unlike me, because I fall into the category of people whose eyes widen at every expensive purchase(even if I am not the one making it). I think it is something to do with my life still being about priorities and me being used to operating strictly on a budget, month by month. So when it comes to splurging on myself, it feels a little odd. But sense need not prevail all the time, I tell myself. Let go a little, indulge a little, no harm. And yeah, with a bit of cajoling, I am convinced! :D

Now is the time to decide which phone to buy and to decide buying an HTC is not a result of survey. It has more to do with something one of my colleague(an HTC user herself) said last time I was buying a phone, that stayed with me. She had said, while at a mobile dealers shop, that HTC is a robust phone and I vouch for its operating system. A statement like that, coming from a techie, is more than just a re-assurance.

So when I lost my Samsung wave, I knew HTC would be my next buy. But what I hadn't thought of was that buying HTC in Ahmedabad will not be a cake walk. Mobile dealers seem ill informed about the goodness of any phones which are not Sony or Samsung wave. On my hunt for the HTC, I discovered how little information the staff had when it came to selling a phone. How else can one justify the act of selling me a Google Nexus when I ask for an HTC?

A good camera, should have 3G and should be for less than 25k translated into anything but HTC. One chap even tried selling me an Acer cell phone, manufactured by the car making company Ferrari. I was taken aback and furious at how confidently he sold that horrible touch phone which came at half the price of HTC!! When he could sell that, than why not HTC.

Mind you, until this time I had not seen a single HTC phone and I was adamant about settling down for anything else. Finally, the electronic store Chroma came to rescue and how! It had all the HTC models launched so far in India on display.

Just a little while ago there was such a dearth of the phone I loved and all of a sudden I was spoiled for choice! Persistent pays.. :D. I fiddled with all the HTC make. The HD took my breath away, wildfire was cute enough but not good enough and Desire Z was a no no because of the insignificant quarty keyboard. I was left with Desire S : smart, sleek and full of features.