Friday, April 01, 2011

Another piece of mindful fiction! Read it, rate it, comment also pleajhhh!

He looked at me and smirked. I blushed! Wow, so he knows! And all this while I had been thinking I was the only smart one here. It was an arts class and I had managed to slip someone else's work as mine.

That someone lived somewhere in Italy and there was no way my prof could have found that out. But when things have to get screwed they just get screwed. One look at my work and he knew. The way he raised his head slowly and looked at me, the conviction his gaze bore, my heart skipped a beat! There was no need for him to word his thought. The silence between us was evident that I had mistaken his smartness.

He broke the pause and asked, "So you should be detained for you have cheated."

I remained silent. I wanted to laugh.. After the initial embarrassment, I was dying to ask him how did he know the real artist. But I held back. My face showed no shame, I did not feel any. On second thoughts, I felt my attempts were forlorn because he knew of my artistic capabilities. And the combined reflection of both, the give away and my indifferent connection with arts showed on my face now.

He continued staring and before I could control, I blurted, " How could you possibly know the person who made this?"

"Ok tell me, why did you pick this?"

"Oh! Its very simple. The first look and I thought to myself.. if I was forced to become an artist, this is how my work would end up looking. Look at the lines, look at the symmetry. Are there any straight lines? Is there symmetry at all? And his name.. Its like amateur Indian wanna-be artist barely surviving under an Italian alias! It all went down good with me. One look at this and I was like, this is so horrible, my prof would buy into this!"

His pale fair face had turned crimson. I thought I saw hurt on his face. He looked at me and whispered hoarsely, "Really? Is that why you picked this?"

What could someone who was caught cheating in university test say to the same questions asked the twice? He already knew the answer. Maybe he needed an affirmation.

"Yes", I said.

And he put a big zero on my assignment paper.

Not that I wasn't expecting that, but still my face fell. He wrote detained next to my name in a register and handed the paper to me. I could sense his sudden discomfort and the weirdo inside me just got all the more curious. I shrugged away the hesitation and asked him again, "How did you know this was not my work?"

He looked straight into my eyes, which filled up with anger mixed with hurt and said, " Valentino is my pseudo name and that is my work."

...............................
Ringing silence
...............................


5 comments:

Nitin said...

an episode woven as a short story. It touches the taboo of academia - palagrism. It strongly underlines the fact that, any form of art is intrinsic and cannot be forged.

I liked the portrayal of students casualness and the professors way of reacting. Probably,a better exlanation of 'Valentino's' art work could have saved the student from detention, but for she was unaware of Murphy's Laws :)

Honest attempt by a little writer, short but impressive.

I need more of these from you, it shows the expanse of your creative horizon & imagination..

I loved it.. btw, I love the writer in you as well :)

Anonymous said...

Dont know much about fiction flaws..but truely said by Nitin sir that it was short and impressive. The fact that even knowing that the work wasnt her, the way the character tries to put down a work from an unkown artist in front for her teacher was amazing.

The way the fiction is written allows an individual to read the whole thing with pauses and the major events written in one liners are perfectly placed.

I wil say continue the good work :)

Anoograha

Sandeep Mishra said...

Well I already gave u my immediate feedback the same night u posted this story...Now follows, a little more sophisticated and academic opinion... This is no doubt a very good attempt... and I am sure u understand the 3 act structure, as far as any story is concerned, ...I don't find any trouble with the audience attention span though... but may be if u try applying the 3 act structure to ur story...u will find some scope to improve.. all the best...!!! nd keep posting..

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Anonymous said...

:-D
short sweet and impressive...

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