Surprise from "The guy" :P

Two days back a school junior added me on facebook. Then she spoke to me later in the day and then called me the next day and insisted we meet up for coffee. The conversation went something like this :

"Hi"

"Hi"

"How are you?"

"Good, thanks. You?"

"Where do you work?"

"At Ashram Road"

"Lets meet"

"Sure, tell me when."

"Today?"

"How about Saturday?"

"I want to see you today but?"

I am mildly surprised by the enthusiasm she has to catch. I am secretly happy that there are girls out there like that. I readily agree to meet her. Infact I invite her to my place for coffee. We promise to co-ordinate and meet at around 6 pm.

At 5:15 we decide to meet near a shoe store. I reach there and am waiting for her when someone else, who I did not expect in the least to be there, arrive. His french beard suits him. His glasses make him look geeky. His smile reaches his eyes. His face has the same genuinity that they always had. Its Vish.. bacchhe as I lovingly call him, my school junior, my eccentric chat friend.

I am a bit stupid in reacting to that surprise from him. I don't completely get off my activa instead hug him half sitting. We look at each other for full two minutes and smile harder than ever. From behind comes the lady who insisted on having coffee that very evening. She is a common friend. Infact the real connection is that they both are classmates and are my school juniors.

I thank her for the surprise. Inside my head I am still a little taken aback by this gesture from Vish. He has no idea he unintentionally cheered me up. I was cribbing about loneliness et all remember? Well Vish's visit proved to be a total mood uplifter.

Coming back to the scene, Vish hops onto my activa and we drive to someplace where we can eat. While driving he tells me "I did it!" and I ask him what. "Surprise someone on my birthday" and I go oops.. its your birthday! then I suddenly remember wishing him on his fb wall and think of my stupidity of not remembering it when he is with me. So after we reach municipal market I hug him once more properly and wish him happy birthday. He smiles hiskid like smile and we head to Cheers.

While sitting together he reminds me of the blog he wrote for us. Its called She's the man, I am the guy. I smile at him and his thoughtful ways. He stares at me a little more than usual and I wonder whats going on in his head. We order non-grilled white bread purohit sandwich(his favourite) and sugar cane juice. While we wait we update each other about our lives. We discuss his random eccentricity, the love of his life, his various crushes, his goals, the realities, the responsibilities and what not!

After about an hour and half we return home. The meet is short because its a regular working day and I have certain chores to get done with. But the meet was nice. Although the time was less we had a great time. I don't know when I get to see him next but I'd like to thank him for surprising him on his birthday! Such gestures are hard to forget.. thanks bachhe! You did make my day!

Such a wasted day at work!

I am trying to keep my eyes open, my mind wants coffee, my sore throat is wanting hot ginger tea. Its hot in here and people are quietly doing their work. My work is reviewed by my colleague.

A gtalk friend pings me and asks have I written any fiction lately. I tell him I have not been able to find time. He tells me I should let him know if I write fiction again. I wonder why. He signs off and I am back with myself sitting on this chair still waiting for the review to get over.

Today everything looks so frivolous. I just thought of my colleague who recently got engaged. We all notice the new changes in her. We joke about her incessant talks with her fiance amongst ourselves.

Now I am thinking about my career and the way its going. Where am I headed? Do I like this place? Do I want a change? Is there job satisfaction? Would I trade good colleagues and flexibility/freedom of a start-up with better salary and pressure of a brand company? Right now.. I just have one answer.. I don't know.

I guess I know who I should be speaking to..

Save your best for me

Once again I find a song that lifts my mood up and peps me up. I love it for the guitarrrr. I love it for the lyrics. I love it for the feelings that produced such meaningful words.

Its by Steve Reynolds btw.

And here are the lyrics :

Your needs and my needs ain't always in line.

Your wants are your wants.

They're not always the same as mine.

And your love is your love,

But it ain't always the forgivin' kind.

And your ways are your ways.

But I hope you'll keep me in mind.

And your maze is your maze.

But I know you'll get through it fine.

And your world is your world.

But I know you'll be home at night.

Save your best for me.

And we'll lay it all down.

I treated myself to a complete meal. Gobi, alu ki sabzi, Moong ki daal, Chawal, Roti, Salad, Dahi which is not here in the picture.

I'd mention Guddu's name, Guddu aka Nitin Sir who was constantly instructing me on phone while I was making all this. The recipe's are his'. Thank u guddu! Thank u sooo much!

Moving in

It took me less than a week to get all the essentials in the house working. It'd take me another 4 days to buy more essentials, shift my stuff from here to there and organize stuff in the new home. It takes just a bit of planning, some running around and you can have everything working smooth. Ofcourse I am not neglecting the fact that I totally skipped the ordeal of looking for a new home.. I am just moving into an old/familiar space.. anyhow the place is absolutely new if you consider that I'd be looking after it all by myself.

Haa.. anyway tomorrow's update is that I will go apply for internet. Whose name it will be registered in is still not decided. Badi ma has given me recipes to make sabzi and dal. Which reminds me I'll have to hunt for more vessels tomorrow.

I transfer my cosmetics bag, my files, clothes which I dont wear here.. to the new flat.

And tomorrow I will do alot more things. :)

I'll have a new postal address soon :)

Yes, its final.. I am finally shifting into my old home. The idea to move had been in my head since a long long time. It never saw the light of the day because of a number of reasons. But two days back, I got talking with my house people and somehow managed to tell them that its time I moved. Surprisingly, not one of them objected. And consequently, I began the shifting process two days itself. :)

On Saturday, I went maid-hunting. Going by my experiences with maids, I did not expect finding a maid simple. I approached my old maid, the one who worked for us for more than a decade and she did promise to send somebody to my place for sure. The female she sent is pretty docile. She has never worked, she is slow but this one time she cleaned my house, she cleaned it like her own. Maybe it was the first day and her first time, she dint mind putting that extra effort. Maybe as time passes she'd be like others. But so far she looks alright. I am still to work out how much I would pay her. I en quired with my neighbors and they said regular rates were 250/- for jhadu-pota, 250/- for bartan and 250/- for kapde dhona.

Today evening I had an electrician at home who fixed the gas stove and the aqua guard and charged me a fortune for it! I was expecting it to be somewhere around 500 bucks but a thousand and 25 bucks seemed ravenous!! Ofcourse I had my doubts and suspicions and i refused to pay to him, not until I had done doing my detective work. :P

There are two more things, actually three major things that need to be attended to before I move into this flat. The refrigerator needs to be fixed, I need to have a gas cylinder, otherwise how will I cook and I need to buy grocery. Grocery.. whew! I need to make a list of all I need, the basic stuff soon.

Tomorrow I will have the electrician come over in the evening to check the fridge. He said I would need to change the compressor(and charged me 4k for that!) and I told him, we'd try fixing the refrigerator because I don't think it needs the compressor to be changed and he has agreed to do whatever to save me from spending that 4k. Let's see, i'll have to wait until tomorrow.

I am excited about something... something worthwhile, something that I have planned for a long time now. Something that will give me my much needed space, a sense of ease, a sense of responsibility and a lot of boost to my self esteem.

I am really excited. :)

To write it down and keep the suspense is just my way to keep the excitement alive. I post the blog today only because today is the day the dream has begum to materialise. Today is very very important!

Will keep this space updated.

The celestine prophecy is true!

I stopped reading "Break ke baad" ka review and came here to quickly blog. Why? Because the review said something like this : "But this movie is not just about temporary break-ups or how time away can get a couple to appreciate each other better (as you would've expected). It feeds on the alluring idea of exploring the unknown within us while following one's dreams. And that is exactly what Aaliya wants to do. Having dated just Abhay ever since, her life feels incomplete and she needs a break. Not necessarily to date other people but to experience a different life in an unknown world. Gold Coast tourism board and an Australian university come to the rescue with some not-so-subliminal in-film advertising and Aaliya is on her way to the land of beer and beaches (and to pursue a course in mass communication) for a year."

Mass communication for an year in Australia... breaking up with the boyfriend to explore that unknown side. To connect with the insides... the insights spoken of in the book "the celestine prophecy" that talk about being full within instead of looking for someone to complete you on the outside.

Isn't this a co-incidence to find a movie on the same line of thought while I am reading a book which explains a similar phenomenon? It only proves the theories explained in the book right. The book asks people to read the signs, the co-incidences which happen to often, the people you chance upon so often.. they all bring a message which would be an answer to the current questions in your head. This concept is repetitively explained in the book and so believably, some of it I have read and almost shrieked that it has happened to me as well!!

The book has come to me at a very appropriate time. For starters it has come to me because I am ready. For a lot of reasons I can relate my current thoughts to what they were when I had gone in for STP in rishikesh. All those deep insights I had about my life, all the things I learnt from ordinary experiences, every weird thought I was apprehensive to share with anyone got affirmed in SM. The same has happened to me after reading The Celestine Prophesy. It is helping me unlearn, unknot and review everything in my life as one big story.

The beauty of reading words that are so simple and easy to understand is that you have already experienced all of it in motion.

Isn't it a delight to have someone describe your emotions for you and that too so flawlessly?

And when you find the perfect words.. the celestine prohesy proves to be right once again. Like the review concludes the flavor of the movie for everyone by these words "before finding the one for you, go find yourself. "

Perfect!

How Goa happened

The idea to go Goa and that too in a car was of a friends'. He, like a few of the close buds knows about my illogical travel desires, but that that he is an equally crazy traveller, I re-discovered when he called me and proposed this idea. Why I use 're' is because he himself happens to be a mountaineer, an expeditioner. 10 years back I first met him at a trekking camp where he was a coach and we have been friends ever since.

So yeah, he proposed the idea and instantly I connected with it. To drive down to the land of beaches, firangs and all things crazy with a set of enthusiastic friends seemed like a great idea. The coming weekend we gathered at Sahdev's house-the one who made the plan and to my delight he had got maps of Maharashtra and inside Goa. The vibe in the house was so amazing... I touched wood atleast 10 times everytime I heard them discuss Goa. We spread the maps on the floor we sat around it scanning the route with our fingers. According to the plan we would be leaving Ahmedabad and be reaching Lonavala that night, leave next morning and reach Goa in the evening. We would stay there for 3 nights, 4 days and start the return journey on the 5th day and be back home by the 6th evening. A few days later Sahdev called me up to give me another brilliant news. He had managed to find a flat not very far from Calengute beach. It had 2 air conditioned bedroom and a fully functional kitchen and it was costing us 2000 per night!! 2000 between the 5 of us seemed like a dream! This was beginning to be the most economical first travel trip I was ever going to get to be part of!

Why economical is so much of a turn on is because my life is still about priorities. Just 15 days back I got my 3 year old cell phone repaired because otherwise I would had to spend a fortune buying a new one and keeping in mind my current expenses plus the Goa trip, I could not afford that. So to have a flat in Goa definitely came as a good news. We quickly did the maths and concluded that the per head per night expense reduced greatly because we would not be staying in hotels anymore.

With the route and the stay sorted, the trip materialized in front of my eyes more clearly. To discover that your friends are crazy about travelling as much as you are is a boon. To have people who are eccentric yet organised is a blessing. I was besotted by the enthusiastic vibe which was brimming in the room the other night when we all sat discussing the trip. You know when you wish for something and it suddenly takes place you are sort of scared to touch it fearing it would crumble or it maybe your illusion. I had similar feelings about the discussions. I had planned a travel trip but one this perfect! God definitely heard my prayers!

Another interesting thing to know is how Goa has affected each one of us. Collectively, it has been a lot of getting together and re-planning the plan(only because it feels good :D). Individually we all have are different ways of expressing our eagerness. Sahdev, the one brimming with child-like enthusiasm has set Goa pictures as his wall paper. He sends me pics from his last visit to Goa and keeps pinging me on gtalk ever too often just to say in his typical style, "Darlingggggggggg, 5 days to go!!" :P. Laxmi is hoping she fits into the denim shorts Sahdev got for her(they are a couple btw) from janpath. She is the most level headed amongst us 5. Next comes Samarth, Aditi's husband, who looks docile at first glance but is fun loving. He poses along with us while we pretend to plan, think, plan GOA. Aditi, has gone on a diet spree, just to fit into those 'chote kapde' and me... I have begun to pen down details, I am gearing myself for all there is to come. I am mentally preparing myself to finally set out on a journey I have always waited to be on.

Goa and the way it makes me feel :)

Eat Pray Love is so close to what I have felt that it has made me cry. To read words that you have said to some one somewhere, to hear Julia's alter ego speak to her like mine has spoken to me at some point and time, to have those moments of realisation that I need to change, to set out on a quest to look within, it is all that I can relate with. Its like seeing my own life unfold scene by scene.

As I was watching, I thought of the moments when I told myself I would set out to travel, that I will travel solo. I thought of the number of times I swore to myself secretly that I would be a serious travel writer, the number of times I made plans to go on weekend trips or diwali hols only to see them go down the drain and then going to a supermall and buying shorts and tee and telling to my friends this is for my goa trip.. I have had it planned in my head so much, so many times, it had to materialise.

Today when Julia was telling her friend in the movie about how strongly she felt the need to travel to 3 places, I felt fantastic. When she relished on her pastas in Italy, when she piled on weight and dint give a damn, when she missed her love, when she sat in Augustine's cave and wondered about her own life, when she gorged on food and along with this learnt to speak Italian fluently, I felt that unquestionable faith re-instate inside me. Her stay at the secluded indian ashram, her awesome friendship with Richard from texas her meditation cum last dance with her husband and her purpose to come to India being fulfilled and at last the wild elephant coming to her was like Gods affirmations for all the hours of meditation she put in there.

Julia's lessons with Bali's medicine man Ketut Liyer, her destiny that leads her to meet The Man who she finally ends up being with takes me to another planet. The concept to travel solo is so beautiful from the start. The way the journey is laid out is so flawless. How can you go wrong when you consciously set out on a mission to search within you. How many do that? How many Elizabeth Gilbert's out there? I will hesitantly raise my hand here. I might not have plans to write a book on my own life, love and loss but I definitely want to go exploring the world. The nomad in me is always groping for those moments of solace, those times walking alone in flea markets in some hippie land, those lazy times sipping a cup of coffee sitting inside a shack while withdrawing my gaze from the distant ocean, of having to listen to guitar at night near the fire on the sea shore... hmmmm

I am already in Goa!!

The connection between human relationships and spirituality is soooo intricate and essential but its a shame no one and trust me no one wants to even begin knowing those angles. People at large believe spirituality is some sort of magic, yog is aerobics, pranayam, most don't know what to make of it and meditation is for the old and helpless.

Everytime I hear people speak of Yog-'a' or pranayam, I miss listening to the real reasons why people resume to any of it. Everytime I see a person do anulomb-vilomb incorrectly, everytime I see someone breathe through mouth or sit in an incorrect posture thinking its sidhhasan, I want to correct it. Not one says Yog benefits him spiritually, not one talks about pran and not a single one speaks of the benefits of Yog at a spirit level. And when the basis of why you do any of it is not clear, how on earth will you know in what way it is benefiting you. And if you don't know how it benefits you how will you see the changes inside you.

Some days I feel my blog should be dedicated to the study of human emotions because everyday there is so much to learn from ordinary life that if I sit down to talk about each of it at length, I will end up writing a thesis.

Everyday my focus shifts from love to anger to pretense to generosity and I try connect all of it to spirituality and try making sense of it all. What spirituality means and how being spiritual affects all the aspects of one's nature has always intrigued me. How asan practice combined with correct pranayam and regular meditation helps in bringing about subtle changes inside you is what I keep verifying within myself. And the more I verify things the more the surroundings seem unreal to me. The more are the reactions of people to their everyday situations appear exaggerated to me. The more people at large appear like escapists to me.

When a person is at peace with himself, when he stops proving to everyone around him what he wants to be and when a person accepts himself totally, the world around him automatically calibrates itself to his convenience. Is this even gyaan? Maybe for people who are too busy trying to fool themselves regarding everything they are incapable of doing, for them this might be some sort of spirituality.. well the good news is.. spirituality is nothing but this. Go ask any sadhvi, he will ask you too accept first and then work towards other things. And if there is acceptance, won't you automatically become more accomodating and if you are more accomodating wont you be more giving and if you are giving how can you not be happy? Its all a circle.. a big one.