Are you single? Find it out here...

Yay! I am almost 24, not that bad looking, witty and intelligent too(People say that, honest!). Yet I am single and umm employed. You must be wondering whats the connection? Hang in there people.. will come to that sooner. For now read on to find out the whats and hows of 'singles'.

When I say 'single', I mean really single. I mean if you are reading this post and a face just popped up in front of you or if you've a little crush here and you flirt a bit there then dearie, apologies to break the news, you're NOT 'single'.

Single are the one's whose minds are empty. A todal vacuum. You know what I mean by a vaccuum right? I mean she ain't worried about what to wear(read it as - what he would like her to wear), she doesn't keep shooting glances at their mobile phone(because just any minute their sweetheart would call), she doesn't listen to soft romantic numbers and drift into a dreamy haze and when she says she is bored, she is really bored.

Yay, I could recognize i-aint-seeing-anyone person from a distance. Its easy trust me. She is always surrounded by a mix of boys and girls, she ain't glued to her mobile phone and the best of all - there are no read-between-the lines in her facial expressions. When she says she is going home after work, she is actually going home. When she replies late to text messages and say its because the cell was in other room and she was in other, believe her. Believe her when she says she is not thinking anything despite of the lost expression on her face. There are all the chances her mum din't let her buy a new shade of nail paint or more likely she is cursing her college mate and plotting to kill her.

Are you dating and your best friend is not? Even better. Trust me trust me. In those dark, painful hours, if you're not going great guns with your sweetheart you can rely on her. Guaranteed she'll be a great counsellor. Why i'll tell you. 1) She doesn't have experiences behind her to relate to while she listens to your crap, ahem ahem I mean your broken love tale. Hence no question of being biased 2) if you're among those sensible ones who believe in 'sorting out by talking out', she'll listen to both ov your sides and will be sane enough to boil down to a reasonable solution and 3) she is single. It says lots. She has all the time in the world to listen to your rants. Honestly, if you ask me she is the best punching bag you'd find. Cry in front of her, crib too.. she wont mind, she just wont mind.(atleast she wont show you so!) awww can't blame her can you?

Oh and I todally forgot to tell you all the importance of being employed while you're 'not with someone'. The most obvious thing that comes to the head about going to work while single is that work keeps you busy. Yeah all must have heard this famous line 'I work alot because it keeps my mind from wandering'. And its true too. You go to work, you meet your colleagues, you interact with your boss, I mean there isn't much time to mull over singlehood(if at all you're single by force.) I mean look at me, I have a wonderful colleague. She and me in our cozy little den sit and work and listen to music. What more can you ask fer people? Oh yeah.. and if your HR manager is as cool as ours and your process head is as young and interesting as ours then you surely surely would know why being employed makes singlehood a state to stay in. Days just float by, time just flies. Work comes, then more of it comes and then suddenly there's a gap when we loaf around, have longer tea and lunch breaks than allowed(:P), catch up on world happening (read gossip); courtesy our HR manager - N, :p. Until there is work to do again.. and life just passes by like a smooth sailing river.

Hmmm.. while I savour the feeling of freedom go take a pee break.

but do come back for more!

Baarish Mubarak ho

Back again writing about my sweetheart- The Ultimate Mood Reviver - A big round of applause ladies and gentleman; please welcome Miss Monsoon!! This morning I received a happy text which said 'It finally rained. Baarish mubarak ho.' yay! do you see the stir you have managed to make miss? For heaven's sake people are sending texts talking about your arrival! Now stay ok. Don't be like that carrot that hangs itself in front of a hungry rabbit. Let us all enjoy a bit of no sunshine. We've had enough of it in the past few months.

While we enjoy our chai's at kitlis and chat over garma garam dal wadas you might go do another round of drizzle here and mizzle there. C'mon honey.. you've just begun to pour. Bring the real you on. You know we've waited for you long!

An after thought..

This one is in continuation to my previous post. As I read through it something about communicating right struck me. So I'm wondering aloud.

Although communication at all levels is important, it requires greater attention when you meet people like the one's who I referred to in my previous blog. What can be their reasons for being naive? Either they are poor with words or they have reservations about how to communicate with who. It is also possible that they have a straight conversation only when they feel they need to be formal. It can be anything but what is the best way to handle such statements? Should you be sarcastic, rude or witty? Or should you simply smile because thats a helpful gesture if you know how to use it diplomatically...

Aap to hamein yaad hi nahi karte..

It used to annoy me when someone who dint know me that well, hardly met me, and spoke only once every few months say something like - 'Bade log ho gaye ho aap to' and even worse 'Bade bhaav badh gaye hain aapke'. I used to be revert back with something like - ' I did not call you but did you? When we decide to make time for each other why not be pleasant to each other? '

I tried explaining the same to one of my school friends who not only said this but also stretched it into an argument. Irritating as it is to give explanations, it also became necessary to make him understand. Isn't saying a huge hello, giving a big hug/smile and catching up on lost time much better and more productive than accusing? He nodded his head and said the next time I would find him different. And yes I surely did. We spoke around 6 months after that and guess what he said - 'Aap to hamein yaad hi nahi karte'!!! Ugh uh...

Her perfect world

She was not waiting for her ideal man to arrive. But he did come along. Love did intoxicate her. She was living a dream. She built her life around him, his ideals, his desires. She loved him regardless of boundaries, of distances, of anything that could possibly weaken her faith in him. She found inspiration in his aspirations. She was glad they both understood the importance of space and freedom. There was not a speck of doubt why this association wouldn't work out.

What she failed to notice was their different set of fundamentals. The paths they chose were way too parallel to meet. He was striving everyday to be on the top, alone. She wanted to attain all her goals with him around. He was strong headed. She was an idealist. He had built his life around work. She built hers around him. He longed for someone to care. She knew how to love selflessly. He said she'd changed him. She'd believed it. He wanted to love her on his terms. She hated being bounded. She rebelled. He withdrew and her perfect world was torn to pieces.

She picked the pieces up and prioritised her life again. She has moved on in a big way. The ideal man is replaced by career. She sees things with more clarity now but refraines from expressing it. However strained she might be, she never comes across as depressed because the innocence is still alive in her. The kid is still inside her. She smiles from the heart, she laughs her lungs out. She has friends who love her and tell her so. Wise as this all may sound, the forceful transition has benumbed her.

The jolt has been an eye opener. She has got what she lacked in oodles - her self esteem. She stands with her arms wide open to welcome life again. She is ready for a fresh start. But is she ready for what is on offer? She understands compassion, but doesn't that exist in all the relationships. Is it to be love as in between a man and woman that she needs to get into? Is she even ready for it? No, maybe never again. She is not seeking love and if at all she is.. she is looking for it in wrong places. And the worst of all... she knows IT.

My workplace

I work as a content writer in a call centre. Ours is the only process which doesn't involve tele-selling. Being the odd one's out, we have been allotted a secluded corner in the office which during the day shift becomes an interesting place to be in. Some come in to cry their tragic life stories out. All the dehydrated-under-pressure-and-not-able-to-cope-up kinds faint and come in to rest. Almost all of them are acompanied by their TL or a friend.

The best are the time when managers gather their teams and give them a performance evaluation. The telling off for poor performers is fun to listen to. It becomes even more interesting as the entire conversation is in gujarati. The typicality of the language adds a comic flavor to it.

TL's and managers are to their employees what strict teachers are to the mischief makers. Everytime I listen to them I get this 'back to school' feeling. Stern as they may be, they do smile occasionally much to their employees relief. Just a while ago some new guy was appointed a TL. From the teams reaction it felt like they were happy to get rid of the previous one.. whoever he was! There was some laughter, some applause, some even had the audacity to crack jokes in front of their manager.

Our little 'ascendum' has seen a lot.. he he he

Co-incidence or a sign?

For some unknown reason I downloaded MJ's songs yesterday and day before. Today, yahoo tells me he is dead. Had it not been for my spiritual keenness, I wouldn't have a given a thought to what seems like a co-incidence.

He did tell me theres nothing like co-incidences. There are signs everywhere.. you just need to develop your senses to identify them.

I am sure many like me must have unknowingly remembered Michael and must be taken aback by the news of his demise today. The collective conscience of the world is so powerful that once you become sensitive to it you start seeing how one person's(here Michael's) vibrations can send ripples in the entire pool of the unconscious.

Michael Rest In Peace.

Roz poochti hai khush hun ke nahi. Uski aankhen bhi soojh gayi hongi rote rote. Kya kahun main ke kaise har din ek ladai hai galat soch ke khilaf. Kya zindagi hai... Jab duniyadaari ki samajh nahi thi tab sab saath the. Aur ab.. sab kuch chhut ta ja raha hai.

This too shall pass...

Today he puts an end to a very old friendship. Old it is, time wise not fondness wise. He doesn't speak about it but he feels it deep inside. He is an innocent man and has learnt to live with betrayals and deceits over a long span of time.

He cannot teach filth to anyone when he has always practiced purity and compassion. These days God has stopped making men like him.

Reckon it is time to resort to no explanations again...

Talk to the Sun

Sounds weird? Well that’s one of the things G taught me at SM. My morning walks were the most rerfreshing. Imagine the yogic stroll near the banks of Ganges. In the winters when the sun is not so severe, when its rays hit the water illuminating the mountains. Everyday there was something fresh about the mystic combination of sun, mountains and the Ganga.

The pic here is of the sunrise at Thor at 5:30 am. The closest to the sunrise I experienced everyday at SM.

G and me

Always at some point of life we come across people, places or things which influence us deeply. Sadhana Mandir is one such place and G is one such MBO(mind body organism) in my life, thinking of who re-instates my faith in the existence of selfless human beings.

I dedicated a lot of time to myself undoing the old and making space for the new. I reckon getting rid of trash on a regular basis is a must. My experience at SM helped me do that. I once talked about Utility Chamber as a place where I could face things the way they were and let go of them. SM is better than that. Today when I close my eyes I can smell Sadhana Mandir, feel the tranquil surroundings, and listen to the gurgling of the Ganga outside the ashram.

When I learnt to meditate, I had a challenge gauging the effects of it. Possibly because I was trying to relax in an already serene and a pious environment (I am talking about the ashram I had learnt it at). But today when I go into Shavasan after a day’s work, I feel a wave of relaxation sweeping through and I recall G's words. He'd told me he was building in me strong tissue memories. The way they have been engraved in my mind, these tissue memories help me stay connected with what I hold in the highest light, the process of living in the world yet above it.

Yesterday when I sat down with dad to meditate and began de-conditioning, I re-did a lot of things. It was like the scene from Unfaithful where Connie (Diane Lane) thinks about the first time she meets Paul (Oliver Martinez) by chance and gets into this 'What-if I had not gone upstairs with him for coffee' mode. For me it was a conscious effort to undo all the entangled thoughts and surrender them to the Divine One.

G reconditioned me, transformed me and brought me closer to the Nidhi I once was, the Nidhi I had lost somewhere, the Nidhi that should be, the Nidhi that is. I cannot thank G for he won’t take that. I remember he believes in delayed gratifications. And that would happen only when I ‘build my life around Sadhana and not otherwise’.