Last day of 2009

Exactly an year back around the same time I was in flight which flew me from UK to the Delhi airport. At approximately 2 pm I got out of the airport and was picked up by two of the oldest friends. I had a heavy heart but a calmer head. But I was headed to a place which changed things all that for me forever. The Self Transformation program at Rishikesh which lasted for 21 days was a journey or an evolution process that had just begun. Today when the year is giving way to another one I can tell am still changing and constantly evolving. The impact of those 21 days is so strong, it has changed my perspectives towards everything. I am a happy person today. Yeah I have gained and lost in this learning process but in the end it has been all worth it. I have learnt to love more, give more, share more and get affected the least in the process.

This last day when I look back I can only smile and pat myself. I am surer, crazier, confident, fearless, stupid, idiotic, lovable, nice and smart all at once.. And I Love the chaotic mess that I have become.. Mwaaah to the SELF which has evolved so beautifully.. Thanks to everyone whose helped me become what I am..

I wish everyone a great great great New Years...

I am not among those who remember God only during exams. I know he is smart enough to know that am a selfish jerk. So I don't generally pester him, neither say 'Hey bhagwan pass kar dena mujhe.' I am a smart virgo and I hardly pray for myself. My prayers talk about welfare of my family and world on the whole. And during the worst hours(Read exams and similar stuff) my prayers don't change much.

For sometime now I have been worried about the world. I feel it is better to wake up right now and act towards making this planet worth living on than to watch everything crumble around us. But when I see development the rate at which it is taking place it gives me the creeps. I used to love Ahmedabad once upon a time for it is a kind of place which is modern yet laid back. Its the last five years that my city has transformed from a innocent school girl into a prom queen. It has become so crowded and so polluted that it disturbs to see the nicety vanishing from here. Maybe it has too many flyovers, malls, restaurants, maybe the government has plans to make it a metro, maybe we are part of the fastest growing state of India, I feel the spirit of the place is diminishing. Everything that was unique to Ahmedabad seems to have dissolved in the luminous lights of the neons. And I mention Ahmedabad because it is my hometown, the city I dearly love. The skeleton is still the same but it is adorned so heavily I fear it'd suffocate under its own baggage. It is becoming one of the several cities in the world which have tonnes and tonnes of electricity consumption, millions of meters of clothes used in shops, gunny bags after gunny bags that build the infrastructures, million barrels of petrol on which run zillion vehicles everyday, every other hour of the day! It is like we are deliberately ripping places off their originality to make them look like something else and in this race we are ending up making everything look the same. And that is sad. That is creativity wasted.

I think the world needs a makeover. The basic thought process needs air brushing. Kids need to take the lead. Schools need to revise their courses in order to prepare young ones to be able to tackle what they'll face when they grow up, which I believe is going to be more spiritless than it is now. Fields of employment need up gradation. Include farming and other such jobs in the list. Infact promote them as the hottest jobs right away or by the time we'd need them we'll only find engineers and doctors around. :D And one platinum suggestion - Instead of buying land for building more malls and hotels, but lands to grow trees. Yeah, food for thought for the organisations; why don't they invest money in fertile land and then grow trees and food on it? It'd save each country from spending money after there representatives in summits where all they do is talk and create more tension?

Fantasies and fornications... :p

Seems like I have forgotten to blog. But no, its basically a phase where I am distracted by a lot of things. There are my mood swings I am dealing with and work pressure which I don't feel which worries me. Its monotony and the rebel in my again becoming restless and its a deep deep urge to travel which is so overwhelming that its hard to contain. I'd explain this in detail once I am done updating blog from where I left.

These days I have been on a mission to make a new playlist. I am in a mood for contemporary, old, young, hip-hop english and even world music. I am giving my Hindi songlist a break. I am mostly nobody's particular fan.. because Fan or favourite is a word too opinioted according to me. I am going by recommendations and here are a few which are worth giving a try.

• Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg(Its for the lyrics and the video that you should listen to this)
• Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley(a-mae-zeeeengggg)
• Fireflies by Owl city (perfect as a ringtone, not too loud)
• Iktara (male version.. which is vocally passionate compared to the female version which is soothing to the soul)
• Carry you home by James Blunt(Love him for his songs carry his wartime pain, grief and sense of loss.)
• You're beautiful by James Blunt (Its beautiful.. really! :))

I would recommend everyone to try these. They are about love and loss, more about love.. soft, everlasting and mellow.. Just the way I like my music.

I bought a new tennis racket. It's non-branded and cost me Rs 850/- to be precise. I do not want to fuss over having Head or Babolat or Wilson. Let me first play for 3 months and if I get a hang of this sport I'd buy a nice one.

I am looking for dance classes which teach contemporary form of dance. Where life can be emoted through dance movements. I don't know why but I often imagine myself being on a stage and dancing away to a piano tune. I soon need to find the place where I can start off but to find what I am looking for in a place like Ahmedabad... I have my doubts.

Dance frees the soul and so does travelling. And that is why I am fornicating about a trip to some uninhabited island. Maybe it is the daily routine which has bored me or it is this time of the year which gets the adrenaline rushing. I have lived a disciplined life so far.. Now I hear a distant voice from inside of me saying that its time to stretch a bit, experiment a little, meet new people, take chances and be all on my own. Yeah... Thats the part I most look forward to.

Travelling alone is a dream.. my ultimate aim which I believe is going to lead me to the final aim. I do not know why but a perfect holiday for me would be to go on a backpack trip all around the world. I see it happening. I imagine wading my way through crowded streets, strolling on the sea beaches, bathing in the sun, attending hawaian parties, wind surfing or simply driving through the most beautiful landscapes. I see myself making friends with whackos, living like nomads do and singing and dancing as if it was armageddon tomorrow. The urge to travel is soooooooo freaking strong that I feel trapped and grounded in this city of lights :(. Shit! this is worse than getting stoned. Especially when the energy is bubbling like a lava would before a volcano. I doubt anything would play antidote now...

I am mad and I am going insane :P

PS : Advance Happy New Years wishes to everyone! Hope you stick to your resolution of loosing weight.. Don't more than half have this on their wishlist?? ;)

Whole new developments!!!

I am again questioning the basics of life. The very essence on which I have shaped my lifestyle. The things I worry about pertain to my work and the deadlines. I do not think of 'what to cook' before going to sleep. But someone in my house does and probably that is why I am able to worry about other stuff. Some thing happened today which has made me wonder.. has made me more tolerant of others. The last full month has been bad for my badi mummy. The house maid left without notice and the new one is quite irregular. Finding a new kaamwali is a problem according to badi mum. And until she finds one she has to do more than her normal chores which would mean going up and down the house sweeping and mopping the floor. She cannot bend because she has arthritis. My granny wont do it because badi mum wont let her. I help in the general cleaning and dusting but I sometimes forget to even do that!  So basically badi mummy is left at the mercy of the house maid. It sounds alright when I write this but it irritates me when I see her being so much dependent on one li'l girl. Every time I come home the topic of discussion is maid. Badi ma worries whether she'd come or not. And the new made is so useless she has not turned up since day before. I reckon badi ma took it as a mission to go find her old reliable maid. She located her somehow and cajoled her into coming to our house. Today morning when I was getting ready to leave  I saw the same worry on her face. I wanted to express my annoyance on that but I refrained. When I was finally leaving she came to me hesitantly and said 'Mujhe le jayegi daksha ke ghar par, shilpa wahan aati hai. Sirf chod aa, khud chal ke aa jaungi.'  As I drove her to Daksha's I realized despite her helplessness she first gave importance to my work. Despite her aching knees she dint expect me to understand. She could have asked me to stay back home and help her in the chores but she has never ever done that. Neither her nor my granny have ever stopped me or imposed anything on me. I reckon they are the ones who are progressive. Who have changed their mindsets with their kids and their kid's kids. 

Yes they worry about things which you and people my age would consider menial and unimportant. But if then their world wasn't restricted to those basics would I be able to dream and aspire? No, I guess not and incidences like these help me stay grounded. 

I have a few other things to write here. The first one is a realization. I ain't overtly ambitious, but I am career-oriented. I would love to work all throughout my life but I won't do it at the cost of basics of life(Read home, family and a normal social life).

The second is that I have started playing lawn tennis. Why I started it, I don't know. But I am sure it is good for me because I dint plan and do it. I am enjoying it and I know I will continue playing it.

And lastly my new job which is damn challenging! Content gathering is not so much fun as much as conceptualising an idea is. By Jan end I'd see all my ideas and content come together in an iPhone app. With the kind of work we are doing, I am already contemplating about how well it will be received in the market. I am optimistic about this product. I wish it is a 'staff favorite' atleast. After all we are a start up and me and my colleague spend a lot of time discussing work and where our new app ideas can take us. Trust me work is serious fun especially when two minds share the same passion and progressive fundamentals.  

Dont take my mac away!!!

Eeks I hate thinking this beauty is gonna go away in a few days and will be given to some apple developer we are yet to hire. I hate to say but I am attached to it! Cmonnnnnnn!!! AB itna bhi atyachar na karo. I dont need another windows laptop! I ALREADY HAVE ONE... :((

Rants of a 17 year old 'single' school boy...

Excerpt from my and Nicks conversation. Go on read it. You'd laugh. I did too!…exams: vaise it was interesting to knw k school affairs turn into marriage kabhi socha nhi tha.
me: yes childhood se saath mein nursery se amazing na.exams: Didi pata hai two of my friends have gfs jinke liye unse jyada unke ghar par main jooth bolta hun unki gfs kaisi hai?me: kiski hai?exams: do frnds hai unki. yaar dono ki gfs agar unse jhagada ho to blade se haath ya per par cuts kar deti hai. height of madness!! n fir vo dono rote hai mere samne aakr...n i cnt see any1 crying...itna gussa aata hai k pucho mat....yaar aisa karte hi kyun honge!!me: pyar andha hai.:P sabko dekhne ka and observe. dont get involved. that’s how u d know what u shud do and what u shudnt.exams: didi andha to pata chal gya lekin pagal to nhi hai.me: ab andha hai to thokar to khayega hi na ;)exams: vo do frnds mein se mjhe ek bolta hai k u wil 100% fall in luv but only once n that too madly. i said dnt wry tum logon se puri training mil rhi hai. unki gfs ko mjhe samjhane ka...jhooth mujhe bolne ka unke ghar par jhooth bolne mein to expert ban gya hun. hehehe. 3-4 baar to aisa hua hai k vo dono ladkiyon k phn mere ghr par aagye hai une bat krne ke liye aur phn uthaya hai mummy ne to mummy ko bhi jhooth bolo aur kaise bhi baat ghumao.me: he he. dosti mein karna padta hai reexams: sahi mein didi kisi din miloge na to bataunga itni lambi list hai: stupidity ki lovers ki k has has k pagal ho jao.me: ispar main blog likhne wali hun. soon.  exams: jaise apni mammu ko bhi gadhe tu tu karke bulate hain. Lekin gf chhoti ho to bhi aap is par main aapko bhot material de sakta hun.me: hahahahaexams: "HEIGHT OF STUPIDITY OF LOVERS"me: hmmmhhheheheexams: phn rakhte time pehle aap rakho pehle aap rakho. bhot baar to fir main haar mankr bolta hun laa main hi phn rkh deta hun. fir didi abhi 2 din pehle ki hi baat....vo ek frnd ne first kiss ki hgi...to sidha ghr par agya aur pagalon ki tarah uchal rha hai.me: hahahhahahahahexams: jaise 2 saal k bachche ko choc diladihad hai yaarme: hahahahahahahahe was like ke he kissed!exams: yup  exactly.  Bole maine kiss kiya aur bolta hai vo bhi pehli baar main bola pehli baar hi hga na practice thdi krta hai ghar par. Phone rakhne se pehle i luv u bolne ka hi...agr na bolo to fir msg aata hai k gussa ho kya? upar se phn ke bill mere badhane ke...  me: shit!!! hahahahahahahahhaexams: vo kehte haina,"SANKAT SAMY NI SAANKAL ETLE NIKHIL." me: hhahahahahahaha. exams: TO FIR KHICHTE HI JANE KI JAISE me: yeh sab main mere blog mein daalne wali hun. exams: SAALA KHICHTE HI REHTE HAINHEHEHEAAP BOLO UTNA MATERIAL HAI DIDI. MAIN PURI PICTURE BANA SAKTA HUN. 2 SAAL KA EXPERIENCE HAIHEHEHEHEme: hahahahahahahah exams: ek bolta hai meri bday par gf k liye room mein candles se i luv u likhungamain bola likh...ur wish. me: :Pexams: to bolta hai vo likhe ga tu aur candle ke paise bhi tu nikalega me: wat!!!!exams: to fir saala sab kaam mujhe hi krne de na...tu kyun jata hai. unki gf k liye wallet khali kru main..bat kre mere phn se aur main aaj tak mila nhi hun kisi se bhi. ek bolta hai interview mein k maine social wrk bhi kya hai. main bola tune social wrk ne gf work kiya hai. saala upar se ek numbr k kanjus. didi just imagine hotel mein lekar gaya. 3 ghnte baitha rha aur bill kitna?sirf 30 Rupees. Kya date hai...waah...mashallah.me: hahahahahahahahah... 30 rupeeesss...hahahahahaha.isse kahin zaada to mere aur aditi ke outing mein lagte hain!!! exams: just imagine....aur dusra pehli baar gaya to 500 kharch kar aaya... fir bolta hai usme ghr ke phn ke bill k paise the so mjhe dena..maine jitna kharcha khud ke upar nhi kiya usse jyada unki gfs par kiya hai..isse achcha maine koi pata li hoti to agle 2 saal tak khush rehti. "PYAR KE SIDE EFFECTS--PART 2"aisi picture banni chahiye. uske dialogues main likhunga.....blockbuster banegi 100% me: Pyar ke real effects... sureeeeeeeheheheexams: actually... chalo didi ne gtg to study.. keep laughing imagining those thingsme: hehehesame hereexams: bye....tc...cya..gd...n take some rest....me: hmmm

A perfect end to a busy week. I am down with a temperature and have a sore throat. My head is heavy and legs are aching. And I haven't even slept much. Being social comes with a price! If this is what is happened to me I wonder what marriage does to the bride and groom. Hate to think! Anyway last week I attended two weddings. Both of my school mates and both love marriages. It was good to see school mates after 10 years! damn! Kisne socha tha aise milenge. But the re-union was great. Everyone's changed. Some are married, some are looking and some are far from even thinking(read me :p). But whatever grudges I have against marriage and love I would be lying if I say I wasn't a li'l dreamy about all this shit. Especially after seeing my friends doing 'it' with so much surety! I secretly felt like I should give a shot at meeting boys for marriage... who knows it might just click and I would be experiencing marital bliss soon. I guess I have been sleeping on this for more than a few days now until this morning when I woke up with a horrendous glitch in my throat and aches everywhere. Shit shit! I was thrown from the skies. Mornings are seriously my reality checks. I got work to do and my lappy has broken down. I have deadlines to meet but with such a heavy head it feels impossible to even start working. I have been on this macbook for the last two hours and all I have managed to do is write a blog! See... I am distracted and I cant afford to be! SHeeeeeeet!!! 

And I am coined as Aracelia - N calls me that. Aracelia is latin for treasure which is what Nidhi means in nine other languages. Besides calling me Aracelia he also used to call me Kokeshi which is Japanese name for a doll. Then there are our standard jokes, our talks about my career, his life, his apple of the eye-S and our love for food! I am amazed to see I bonded with him so well. I never knew it would be so easy. But I have realised when there's an instant connection between two people the association is long lived. With him it is atleast that way because there are no efforts, no pretences.. we are just what we are. And that is what matters right?

And now I have started dreaming of work. All the lions and tigers of the Bandipur National park are on a loose. What is funny in a waking state was very scary then because in the dream there was a bunch of guys on bikes that came rushing out of the sanctuary and behind them were oversized lions and tigers(Maybe they are that huge in reality... kabhi dekhe nahi na). All I remember was seeing the massive face of lion and running away from the sanctuary. But like in all my dreams I was unable to run as fast as I wanted. My feet were stuck to some invisible thing. I had someone running along with me, a friend whose face I don't remember. We must be a few meters away when someone from behind screamed that it was safe- the flock of more than hundred lions and tigers couldn't break the wooden door(in my dream it was wooden and just like any normal gate!) and they were back inside the sanctuary thanks to the lanky security guard who shooed them away!

And then it was some tring tring somewhere... My alarm.. my four alarms! Ha ha

These 6 days

Been almost a week since I resigned but I feel I never left the place. Actually the place hasn't left me yet.

Have been 6 days without a full time job but haven't been free even for a second. Have worked from home for longer hours than I usually do.

Haven't watched a flick. Have hardly met Aditi. Have hardly spoken with ma or pa. Have been home all day working.

Have been up until 3 am for the last 6 days. Have wondered about how to manage all the projects at hand.

Have a disrupted morning routine and I don't approve of that.

Its 1:25 am now and I should go to sleep for my wake up call tomorrow is going to be from Mr CB of Philly! :P

Work work and more work. Thats all there is in head and here. What do I say? I asked for it...

Its 12:32 am and I am finally calling it a day.

Flip! And dint that rhyme! :D

Yawnnnnnnnnnnnn... Goodnight guys. Rest Well

I am moving from here...

The weather is playing its magic again and the rain drops have brought lots of nostalgia along. I cant help but say I am one of those few who have had a fantastic start to her career. One I do what I love doing and two the people that I have worked with are very encouraging and supportive.

But like all good things come to an end this will too. Within few hours I will be gone from here. And wont I miss being here? Yes. I will miss our little ascendum where I spent hours thinking, dreaming and writing articles. I am recollecting my times with K, the way we organised our work so that we could deliver everything on time. We checked our emails everyday and waited with crossed fingers for feedbacks after deliveries and how there were sighs of relief when there was no email and how we celebrated when the client appreciated our work. There was one time when we spent a whole month re-doing articles. My heart had skipped a beat reading the harsh feedback and that was one time when I sensed work pressure. We got on with the re-work which we continued even on Sundays. After we made the final deliveries we checked the email everyday with crossed fingers and wished there was no more re-work. So when the client reverted back saying 'The articles look great' I slumped into my chair and thanked the almighty. Whoa what an eventful month that was.

Little little things which make up these 6 months here are what will make me miss this place. I will miss being interrupted by N in the middle of the work and P's tap-tap on the glass door. I'll miss N and his handshake, his affectionate gestures, his protective streak and his amazing sense of humor. I'll miss our chai breaks and endless yakking sessions. The HR's cabin is one place after my ascendum where I had some good laughs. Thank you N (you know the N-N thing is gonna stay for long and you're right, this place was just a beginning to our long long association!!). I'll miss A, the li'l mature girl without whom life here would be dull. Who am I gonna discuss clothes and chirkonda with? I'll miss being called 'Nidhi didi'... huggs bachhe!

I will miss listening to K talk about her endless list of prospective grooms. I wish her good luck with all the decisions she takes.. I'll be glad if the decision are hers. K I never told you this but what you are now is what I was few years ago - naive and unsure. Every time we have discussed issues concerning you I have found similarity in your confused state of mind with mine. It is understandable and something I can smile at now. But you know what, time and circumstances change everybody. If you make the choices and not take what is given to you you will find your confidence shoot up to another level. Would love to see you in charge of your own life. Good luck howratt!!!!

Another thing which makes this place special is my tête-à-tête with P. Every time I have spoken to him I have realized he is a different breed, the kind which is rare to find these days. He has helped me overcome my hesitations and answered even the stupidest of my questions. Thanks P..for your patience. His advices, encouraging smile and his non-nonsensical behavior are admirable. Bless you!

Today is my last day at work here. Next week I start my new job. I am looking forward to the new opportunities in store but am skeptical about the kind of people I meet. I know I am going to make comparisons with the friends and colleagues I met here. I am only wishing the place is, if not more, but as good as this one.